Random

 
 I awoke early this morning, about 3:30 am, nothing was worrying me, not a belly ache or  headache. I woke up and felt wide awake for the first time in a very long time. Phil walked into the living room about fifteen minutes later. We decided to have coffee on the deck in the dark. We talked about family, friends, the dogs, we talked for almost anhour. Phil is a very intelligent , big hearted person. don't tell him but this is what made me fall head over heels for him. He has decided to go back to bed and nap a couple of more hours. I have a thousand thoughts this morning and I am determined to think each one out and put them to rest one by one. Of course this means no sleep for the rest of my life, for my thoughts are never ending. I have a very blessed life now. I have a life that I am thankful to the Lord above for allowing me. I have the most wonderful friends and family anyone could ask for. I have a home, food, clothes and the love of God. People all around me are succeeding and failing at this thing called life. I want to congratulate and counsel, but that is not for me to do. I silently pray that God puts his loving arms around each of you as you read this and comforts you and praises you for all that you are. we are all children in his eyes, some a bit older, some a bit stubborn, some so loving he is touched everyday by our decisions in life. I know I have let my father down at times, I have concerned myself with my own struggles that I refused to obey, and trust in him. He has forgiven me. The pains of life seem to hard to bear at times, but you hold on he says, because the wonders of this life will take your breath away. I know now at this point in my life the worry I must have caused my parents through the years. My kids are growing more independent each day, making their own decisions and I worry so much at times. I worry if I was a good mom to them. I wonder if I gave them enough of the good things in life to make the right choices. All I can do is hand this worry over to God. It saddens me to see so many young people without a hunger for church, for God in their lives. Times have truly changed in the twenty years. People and places will forever change, some for the better, some for the worst. So today first of all things, I praise you Lord, and I thank you. Second, I will make a pot of coffee. Third, I will do whatever God puts in my heart to do. There, that will be the best way to spend my day, don't you think. To anyone who is reading this and suffering in any way, God Bless You, to anyone who is reading this and seems to not have any major worries, bless you also. My aunt, a very wise woman, told me once that if you don't have a worry, you should be worried, because that means the devil is happy with where he has you. The ultimate goal of all on this earth should be to see Jesus face to face, to hear him say well done my child. Our trials are tests, our tears are our paths, we all sin and fall short at times, be sure to take ownership of your shortcomings. today I awoke without a worry, so I am praying to God over and over again. I am letting him know I am ready for his next blessing, and I am telling the devil to get behind me, very far behind me, I will face all my trials, I will claim my father in Heaven, I will realize I still have many flaws to work out in my life. I will never be perfect, and as long as I am not perfect I will fret as to how to be Perfect for my father in Heaven. so, devil, you tricked me into thinking I was getting ahead of others in my life, that I should be praying for all those lost souls around me, that I was just fine. thank you Jesus for whispering in my ear and reminding me that I am not perfect, but you love me anyway, and that you are always here when I need you, thank you for allowing me to realize I need you always. I have wonderful days, I am so very blessed, I am ready Dear Lord, to go, and obey you. I know you are not here to make my life the way I want it, but that I am here to follow you and in doing so comes the struggles from within myself. Help me Lord to follow you. Some people live their entire lives and very few others truly know them, but the ones blessed to know them are forever changed because God allowed their paths to cross. to all of you who reads this, thank you, I know you have to be special, because God has allowed our paths to cross, and I know he only wants the best for me.