When I say to anyone about my life and plans for the future, most often the reaction is:"Why is it for you? Well, why is that for me?
New challenges
After a few months in one place, I start getting into the routine. Every day I see the same thing every day, I walk the same paths, every day is similar to the previous one.
Going out of your own comfort zone is not a favourite activity, but for me it is one of the worst things in the world, I am very ashamed of everything and I'm extremely often afraid of new situations.
But never during the journey. Then I know that I have to "break through" and start talking in a foreign language, I have to cope with stressful situations, react quickly to changes and constantly do something that I would never have done before.
During the journey I know that I have to "break through" and do something that I would not normally do.
It helps me - slowly, with small steps I am more and more self-confident, I know how to behave and find myself in new situations. In addition, I feel at the same time like my own star - a brave traveler, calm even under the greatest pressure. It is a wonderful feeling. I want to have more and more of this feeling.
Others are never worse than that
I'm convinced every day during the trip: don't judge until you know it. Yes, I have in my mind also stereotypes in my head, the confirmation of which I find in visited countries - and which with a more thorough knowledge of this place always fall down.
I also know that I will never understand certain things. There will always be an unbreakable boundary for me, a nuance that I will not notice - whether it concerns pizza or approaching work. Every contact with this border is terrifying and wonderful at the same time - I will be strangely constantly, but this also means that I cannot compare anything and compare anyone according to my own measure.
Teach
There is no mention of the history of the state here, although usually after the expeditions you can find me in books, looking for all possible curiosities about the place visited.
I have less and less expectations, so I am more and more happy.
No, I am learning every second of the journey: about new food, behaviour in literally every situation, approach to life and the fact that somewhere better or worse than I imagined.
I also learn that if something does not go as I think it is not a tragedy. I don't have to control everything and I don't want to control everything.
Whatever I expect, it will always be different. I have less and less expectations, so I am more and more happy.
I am new every day
I look at how people live: French celebrating food, Italian joy of life, Portuguese nostalgia, Scottish optimism (yes, yes!).).... I know exactly how people other than me live, from what they enjoy and what they avoid, what they have perspective on the world, what they love and what they do not tolerate.
I am lucky to be part of it and have daily contact with something new. I take pieces for myself and become a different person: within six months of my departure I started to appreciate good food, smile to everyone, I am more open and confident about myself, I drink wine and coffee for lunch.
I find that my choices are not really good or bad, just as the choices of the people I pass on the road.
Every day I ask myself: what if I did otherwise? Perhaps I should trust people more, stop jealousy and focus on my own satisfaction and joy with what I already have. Or maybe I should take a break every day....
Am I better? I do not know, but at least I am still developing.
Life in another country is wonderful and terrible at the same time, it is a chaos of intertwined peace, it is a constant change. Every day you watch something new, you want to grow into the fabric of this place and then get out of it, you want to discover, change and go out of your comfort zone every day.
To this comes my journey: still ahead. Even after the worst day, I can lift my head up and think: this lesson behind me. I am stronger (every day more and more), more humble, more courageous, calm. I know that I am happy.
By observation alone, I see that the choices of people in other countries are not good or bad, they are simply different. And I don't have to be as much as I expect at home, I don't even have to do what I expect of myself.
When you see that you can see it differently, you never want to go old anymore. You are not concerned about what others have decided for you, how it is necessary and not to behave, how to live, what to love, what kind of work, interests and dreams. You open yourself up to new possibilities that you wouldn't think of earlier, because you're ashamed or clumsy.
This feeling is addictive. Once you feel it, you never want to return.