My Son, The Hen Farmer

Eii, mailood! Someone please catch me before I fall because I swear, children can lie. Or maybe it's just in his blood; after all he's a descendant of Jacob, and around here it's famously said...men can lie! Heck, we even have a whole song about it in this country.

Even though I'm his mom, my son lives with my Mama. I get updates left, right, and center; his achievements, his funny moments, and, of course, the bad-boy side of his nature. While I miss our daily connection, I rest easy knowing that he's in the good hands of a master disciplinarian - who reports to me every punishment installed in my little man's soul.

Now, at the beginning of the second academic term, for two weeks straight, he didn't report for extra tuition, which usually happens every Saturday during the term. Mama got suspicious. So, on the second Saturday, she asked this lil guy, "Ng'ash, aren't you supposed to be in school today?"

With the most innocent face, Ng'ash replied, "The teacher said, 'see you next week.'" Since he had never lied before, Mama took his word. Makosa - big mistake!

Come the third Friday, lil guy was asked the same question, and the answer was still, "The teacher said, 'See you next week.'" Heheee. Well, the teacher had had enough. She finally called Mama, since she's the guardian.

"Hello, Nga'sh's shosh? Why are you refusing Ng'ash to come to school?"

"Ah! Refuse? What do you mean, teacher? Ng'ash said there was no tuition!"

"Well, I asked him why he missed the last two Saturdays, and he said you refused him."

"Thank you for telling me. I didn't know he said that. He'll be there next week."

Buzz... Buzz... My phone rang that same Saturday morning. I was confused, Mama rarely calls in the morning. We usually talk in the evenings.

"Heey Mamaa! How are you?" I answered full of cheer.

"Wueh, I'm not okay... It's your son, and before you ask, no, he's not sick. Unless in the head!" She went on to replay her conversation with the teacher and her earlier suspicions.

I was fuming on my end. And when I asked where the little defendant was, I was told he was busy. Doing what you ask? Being a poultry keeper at my grandma's! I asked Mama why she didn't send him to school immediately after the teacher called. Because I swear, despite it being 10:30 AM, I would have dragged him there myself. Yaani (you mean), this guy decided to quit tuition to rare chickens? And what happened to his most philosophical qoute: "When you lie, steal, abuse someone, you're returning Jesus to the cross"?

That evening, I called him and delivered an ultimatum:

"If you don't want to study, just tell me now so I can buy you an overall, a small jembe, a basket, and some hens. You can officially become the farmer you're pretending to be."

UPDATE:

He chose education. And guess what? He came Top 2 in his end-of-term exams.

Thank you for reading❤️. See you next time.

Images are mine.