My mother and brother have always been the focal points of my life, with no involvement from my father. Despite the lingering emptiness in my heart for years, I'd wished for a chance to see him again.
But with time, I came to acknowledge the intensifying resentment I held towards him, as my optimism of seeing him again started fading.
Regardless, I couldn't have predicted that the opportunity to meet him in person would arise so abruptly, almost coinciding with the most cherished period of my life.
I was in the sitting room pressing my phone when my mom walked in. Sitting next to me, she patted my back, and I swiftly grasp that something was cooking up. Being her only daughter, I knew her so well.
"Mom! What's the conversation about this time?" I curiously inquired.
"I know you like gist, see the way your ears are itching to hear my gist," she playfully responded.
"Anyway, I want to discuss something important with you. It's very different from the things we've always conversed about," she continued.
I felt a surge of inquisitiveness as I eagerly awaited to hear what my mom had to discuss, sensing that they would deviate from our usual intriguing and captivating conversations.
"What's that you want to talk about, Mom?" I keenly asked.
"I want you to let go of the hurt and the pain his absence may have caused you. No matter how much we attempt to conceal the truth, he remains your father, and you can't hate him forever. Right now, he's truly sorry for everything, and it's apparent that his words are deeply heartfelt. I understand it's difficult, but I genuinely hope you can find it in yourself to reconnect with him," she said.
For a moment, I was unable to speak. I wondered how effortlessly my mom could release herself from the burden of those painful memories he left behind. How easy it was for her, but why do I feel differently? Was I that badly hurt?
"So you've forgiven him from the bottom of your heart?" I asked, fixing my eyes upon hers, probing for the truth that her gaze held.
"I've sincerely forgiven him, and I hope you forgive him too."
This was the first in my life where we openly talked about forgiving my dad, and for another moment, I pondered on the striking nearness to my birthday. And then I decided to give it a try.
"Have you both been in touch recently?" I asked
"Yeah, I bumped into him a few weeks ago. He really wants to meet with you again, and I don't know if that's okay with you. Take your time, my child!"
"I think I'm ready to meet with him." I immediately cut in.
Instantly, I experienced a wave of relief flooding through me. I guess my heart yearned for it, but I was too angry to admit it.
Then two days ago, my mother and I set out to see him. One would think I was overjoyed, but I was overwhelmed with conflicting emotions. I just needed to breathe and be confident that it would go smoothly in the end.
And there he was under an orange tree waiting to receive us. I intentionally kept my eyes downcast, fearful of meeting his eyes and the emotions it might stir.
"You're welcome dear," he greeted, leading us to his living room. We met his wife who heartily received us, and I felt a little bit relaxed.
From his mouth flowed an overwhelming torrent of honest revelations and apologies, leading me to realize that my immense hatred toward him may have been undeserved. He had experienced his own share of arduous trials, ones that were vast and beyond comprehension. Though it still wasn't okay that he left.
Just as I'd hoped, everything went smoothly. I felt a tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders, it was really good. I don't know why it became so easy, but somehow the time was right.
I would say that our reconnection is progressing slowly, and I'm hopeful it would withstand the trials of time.
So today, I'm in awe of how far I've gone in life, personal growth, and achievements so far. Meeting my father again a few days ago is a mega addition to my life. This was the time, and I'm glad I embraced it.
Still in this amazing moment, I want to sincerely wish myself a Happy Birthday馃帀馃帀
Image is Mine
Thanks for reading.
