What's going on with you Vin, are you finally coming out of the closet? Writing this during a time where gender identity is one of the main things we talk about. I know, I always said it wouldn't happen. I've been in situations where I should know if I ever had these feelings...if I would feel attracted to it. Friends made a lot of jokes in the past. They knew the day would come one day and guess what? I can say it now...I want dick. I will explain why this happens right at this moment.
Since I was young, I was a bit of an outsider. I must admit, I do have some feminine traits. My moves can look a bit funny. Not really the tough trained man. When I was a kid, I was bullied a lot, because of my eyes. It looked like I was putting on some kind of pink eyeshadow everyday. I had a funny walk, it looked a bit like walking on a catwalk. Boys at school didn't talk to me, I was not tough enough. Most girls liked the weird shy boy. I did appreciate the female attention.
Around my 16th I finally started to hang out with the guys. A lot of them made fun of me. Always these jokes of me being gay. Of course, I did not agree at that time. I was never interested in cars at that age. I was not allowed to do any sports like soccer. So I was never really part of the 'guys'. During that time I started partying a lot. Partying really hard, I finally lost those pink shiny eyelids. During the years that followed, I kept saying I was not gay. I even refused some special proposals, that could make me experience the wealthy life. I loved to hang out with gay people. They were actually quite fun, direct and honest. Straight to the point. Never I felt any 'fear' being with them. When I returned back to my home country after a long trip around the world, I lived together with a gay friend for a few months, nothing happened. Believe me, I had a lot of opportunities to figure out if being gay or bisexual would be my thing.
I must admit, after all experiences with women I should be curious if men could be a better option. I do admit sometimes if a guy looks attractive. The first time I felt a bit uncomfortable with a man, was in Vietnam. My 'Easy Rider' friend (it is just the name for locals driving around tourists around the country on a motorbike), stayed with me in a hotel room. I was feeling really bad and my chest and back hurt a lot. He proposed to give me a massage. I took off most of my clothes and minuted later I was covered in oil. With the Vietnamese biker sitting on my ass. It made me feel a bit blocked. Do we continue this or not? It was a dodgy hotel, with a lot of screaming. But is wasn't a sex hotel, the Vietnamese just love karaoke. I let the guy do his thing. The massage continued, and my pants were still on when he was finished. It actually made me feel a lot better. It never got to a point that it turned me on or something.
I got your attention by now, right? A friend of me reminded me I got my first dick for my birthday already, when I was born. I laughed. I would never think I would ask for another dick during my life. Today it happened. I talked with my mom on the phone yesterday. She asked me what I want for my birthday next week. I had to think about it. Today I talked with some friends about this. Should I really tell her what I need most? Yes, I will tell her...it's cock!
What?! I would like to see her face. And then I would tell I need this dick in my mouth, a few times a day. This requires further explanation. It's all about oral irrigation.
Why I need dick?
After all the dental issues during my life, I need to try something else. The last 3 months, I have been to a dentist 6 times. Several dental hygienists told me the last 12 months I should stop brushing my teeth the normal way. Since 8 months I am using an electric brush and some smaller brushes to get between the tight holes. Yesterday I had to do another cleaning at the dentist, 1 hour of sensitive reactions, while I was looking into the covered eyes of that dental hygienist. She explained me I was brushing too hard. Funny, because the device I use, turns on the red light when the pressure is too high. My gum moved up too far since I am using the electric vibrator in my mouth and those tiny sharp metal brushes. So the more I do to keep my teeth healthy, the more I seem to destroy it. I was trying to explain the device I would like to try. But I could not find it and the dental hygienist didn't understand. A friend this morning told me her husband has the same issue with the cleaning after getting the implants. They will start using a machine from a company called 'WATERPIK'. It's an American company. But in Dutch this company name has a funny translation, literally translated this would be called 'Water Cock' or 'Water Dick'. It's actually a Water Flosser or a so called Water Pick. It cleans between your teeth (fillings and crowns) with water pressure, instead of using metal brushes, floss wires or wood picks. I would make cleaning a lot easier and less painful. Squeeze that 'Waterpik' between those tight holes. I guess I would not damage those fillings anymore and avoid that dirty tartar.
This is what I want as a gift. I will tell my mom, I will get another dick for my birthday....the second one she will give me. Sorry, I got you confused 馃榾 I did not know which community to post this in. I realized I could combine the story with the stories about sexuality and gender identity, that followed me since I was young. I am still 100% sure about my interest in women. And when I have a look under the coffee table right now, I can still see that I am a big boy...not only because of the belly.
