When I was much younger, one of the things I wanted to attain was growing up. You see, I had loads of things in my mind as a young child and felt restricted from doing all of these things due to my age. I yearned for freedom, independence, and the feeling of making my own decisions. To me, back then, adulthood was a safe haven and a beautiful phrase, and that's why I longed for it, but the reverse is the case now that I'm old enough and could possibly do all that I crave for, because as I get older, reality has dawned on me to know that life isn't as easy as I envisioned it while growing up.
You see, even though most of what I envisioned is now possible and at my fingertips to do at my own time, I can't help but realize that aging isn't all that fun, because as I grow, I've one side of me that still wants to hold on to the youthful fun and lifestyle, not forgetting the one that misses how I got to sit back, relax, and watch everything play out, including my food, shelter, and the likes, but with aging comes the need to walk up to the reality that I'm now at the wheel of my life and I'm the driver, meaning if I don't do things properly, then I might end up leading myself astray.
All of these thoughts are what build up in my mind, leading to mental draining and stress, because aging, if I'm to say the truth, can be draining both emotionally and physically, from running around to make ends meet for me and those around me to making sure everyone is happy and in good condition, because once one isn't, it automatically takes a toll on my own mental well-being.
One thing about age and why it becomes difficult for us; or should I use myself as an example?, because the weight of responsibility that surrounds me are just so enormous and almost seem to multiply as I get rid of one. From financial obligations to personal relationships, regardless of which it is, one thing is certain, and that's the fact that they all require unwavering effort and attention to get done, which can be tiring.
Unlike when I was younger, when my parents and adults around me were all the ones who shouldered all these responsibilities, while I sat out and enjoyed the results of the adult sacrifices, aging is a den of responsibility on just one, from being a provider to a caregiver, friend, son, husband, employee, and several others to name but a few.
Aging, although it comes with loads of challenges, from those I already listed above to the challenges of maturity and the draining lessons and scars that follow each experience, can be tiring and the likes, to how you literally sort after meaning to life amidst the chaos and challenges around you, but amidst all of these ups and downs of aging in this regard, I've made it a point of duty to mostly appreciate the presence and the little things around me, from my family to my health and growth in all aspects.
Overall, one thing I've come to realize within my life thus far is that life can be exhausting and is literally a paradox that's both a blessing and a curse: a blessing in terms of freedom and the likes and a curse in terms of deteriorating health and closeness to death. But then, amidst everything, the present moment that I try to appreciate as part of the journey is one of the driving forces that kept me going alongside those around me. Though life can be said to not be easy, we can all agree that still it's exciting and meaningful.
All photos are taken and edited on canva.
