We all have times when everything is falling apart and we all have experienced pain and sorrow. I have and I must tell you, “It sucks”. Oftentimes, when we experience pain, we feel sad. Sadness in itself isn’t a bad thing because it is a normal emotion.
I haven’t seen anyone that has gone through problems and was smiling like a clown. There’s always a tendency for us to feel gloomy, sad, and sometimes depressed when things haven’t gone the way we want them to or when a real tragedy happens in our lives. But dwelling on your sorrow and misfortune is self-destructive. In the book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, Amy Morin shares six reasons why self-pity is a problem for you. So in this article, I’m going to be sharing Amy Morin’s 6 reasons why you must avoid self-pity at all costs. Let's get into it.
1). It’s a waste of time
One thing about wallowing in self-pity, is the fact that it drains a lot of your energy mentally, psychologically, and emotionally. You cannot solve all of your life's problems, but you can make positive choices to deal with your life's challenges in a positive way. Self-pity makes you feel helpless and hopeless, and it won’t move you any closer to a solution.
2.) It leads to more negative emotions
When you engage in self-pity and dwell on it for so long, it ignites other negative emotions such as resentment, anger, and loneliness, and if not properly handled, it can lead to serious mental health conditions, including depression.
3) It can become a self-fulfiling prophecy
What self-pity does is simple. It drowns you and makes you live a joyless life. Whenever you feel sorry for yourself, you lack the intensity to tackle and confront any situation, which in turn leads to more problems. So you find yourself spiraling from negative emotions to negative emotions.
4) It prevents you from dealing with other emotions
Indeed, self-pity leads to other negative emotions, but quite interestingly, it hinders you from dealing with them. You become more focused on the past and your problems rather than accepting the situation for what it is and looking for solutions to the problem.
5) It causes you to overlook the good in your life
If you lack gratitude in your life, it means you’re dwelling in self-pity. You no longer appreciate the good things that happen in your life. As a matter of fact, just one offset can rub you off your happiness because you’ll always focus on the negative more than the positive.
6) It interferes with relationships
A self-pitying person is a sadist, and a sadist hardly engages in healthy relationships. When you keep complaining about how bad your life is, it turns people off and pushes them away from you. People want to see how positive you can be in difficult situations, so feeling sorry for yourself is the fastest way to turn a good relationship sour.
There you have it. 6 reasons why you must avoid self-pity at all costs. If you want to know more about how you can give up self-pity, then I'll strongly advise that you read Amy Morin's book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do, and I promise you that you won't regret it.
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