So here I was. Finally back into my perpetual summer. Finally back to the place that i so passionately tried to escape.
I just returned Home. Broken Hearted. To the parents i love, but had a long confusing history with. To the life that i wanted to avoid at all costs. It was time to relax. It was finally the time to look my life in the eyes, and come to a resolution.
Honestly all the green monster pictures that Im posting and describing right now, were sketches of my life a year ago. And sometimes it can be hard to recollect and remember all the thoughts and feelings I had at the time. It doesn’t help the fact that I am not the person to keep diaries.
“Thrown away” came from the heartbreak, the feeling of thrown away, used, abandoned. The moment i came back, i was sad, but more so i felt angry, and extremely disappointed. I spent 2,5 years for this guy. I left University, spent tons of money, which weren’t even mine. And overall made my whole life revolve around that person. At the time it was my decision. and at this time i was angry, and didn’t know yet who to blame. I knew it’s wasn’t his fault, but my heartbroken mind wanted to distance myself from him, in any way possible, be it by anger, blaming him or otherwise.
For some reason during the time of drawing this piece, i kept coming back to the happy place painting i made, and in my mind more Green Monster lore was revealed to me. As a plushie, green monster’s life should consist of being with someone, in a home, being played with, cuddled with. And here he was thrown out, in the trash, discovering a heart, albeit broken. I think that was the moment when his eyes was slowly opening, and he starts to realise that even though he is a plushie, his purpose might be different than any other plushie. That he has more to learn and have than just a home and an owner that would cuddle with them until they stop. The plushie had its own path. He was slowly coming to life.
Im starting to realise, that sometimes some of the art i make speaks for itself, i put so much thoughts and energy to it, that nothing i write can stand next to it. And some pieces, even though seemingly mediocre have a nice expansive story behind it, that needs to be described in words. Im glad i have that opportunity now.
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“Thrown away... again. No matter where I go I end up here, among the trash. Oh! Something broke, what is this warm red thing here?”
