He wanted everything with me when it was too late: WEEK 137
I was still a teenager when I went out to look for a job, I had already finished high school and in a few months I would start studying at the University, so I needed money for my expenses.
I was in a plaza reviewing the job offers in the printed newspaper, suddenly I noticed a well dressed young man, wearing a suit and tie, but with the face of a teenager, also carrying a briefcase. He immediately caught my attention and I did not stop looking at him, my eyes were fixed on him without a hint of dissimulation on my part. To tell the truth, I only did it for leisure, to have fun for a while, it always annoyed me as a woman to have to wait for men to approach me, for me at that moment it was an act of rebellion.
The elegant boy corresponded to my gaze, I turned my face shamelessly to see him pass from one side to the other until he was getting farther and farther away from where I was, I got up from the in a banqueta to see him even better while I was farther away and he turned to see if my attention was still on him. Finally when he was far enough away from me, I continued to look for job offers in the newspaper.
After a short time he turned back and was coming towards me, I felt like I owned the situation, because I repeat, for me it was just fun, being already less than a meter away, he says to me:
"do we know each other from somewhere?"
"I don't believe you, it's the first time I see you".
"You look familiar" (Yes, I know, it was not very creative the boy, but at least he had the courage to return, approach me and talk to me).
I said to him:
"Sorry I looked at you so much, I was just thinking you were walking around dressed in your dad's clothes while I was looking for a job."
He smiled and told me "I work in a law firm, I am 19 years old and I am a second year law student, my name is Adrian".
I gave him my home phone number, at that time I didn't have a cell phone and we said goodbye.
I really didn't like Adri谩n as a man at that moment and when I got home I didn't even remember him. A few days went by, I think about a week, and he called me on my home phone:
"Good morning, please with Verdesmeralda."
"Who ism?"
"Adrian"
"It's me but I don't know any Adrian " (I had already forgotten).
"We met these days in a square".
"Ahh, excuse me, how are you Adrian? I didn't think you were going to call me"
"So, why did you give me the phone number?"
That was our second of many other conversations. We talked almost every day on the phone and I became interested in him as a man. After a couple of months we agreed to meet at a well-known shopping mall in Caracas.
We greeted each other with a hug, we walked, we talked, until we sat down in a banqueta, we turned to see each other, our gazes merged for an instant and simultaneously we brought our faces closer and, of our bodies, only our lips had contact in a sweet and passionate kiss, at that moment we felt like the only ones in the world.
We had an affair for a few months, the bad thing was that we saw each other very little, he claimed to be very busy between work and studies.
I fell in love with Adrian as I don't think I have ever fallen in love with anyone.
Once he had an existential crisis and suddenly told me he didn't want us to see each other anymore, among so many things I asked him, "why did you tell me you loved me?"
"why did you believe it? that doesn't exist".
I was very dejected, disillusioned and heartbroken, however, after 2 weeks I called him on the phone....
"Who is it"
"It's me Verdesmeralda"
"Ahhh, you"
"How are you?"
"I'm alone, as always"
"And you don't want to be with anyone"
"No"
I hung up the call and didn't dial him again for a long time.
I spent several months looking forward to seeing him and being with him.
I was studying at the University and the craze with cell phones and SMS started in my country. Most of my classmates quickly got a cell phone, their parents bought them, it took me a little longer, I started working on weekends and raised money for several months until I finally managed to buy my first cell phone.
I Adri谩n's phone number engraved in my mind, he did have a cell phone since I met him. I started sending him affectionate messages every morning and every night, anonymously.
After a few days he told me that he knew who wrote him those messages, he apologized and we met again. He told me that he had not stopped thinking about me, that he wanted to vindicate himself with me and that I forgave him.
We saw each other again and our intense passion began again, until after a few months he left me again, this time he claimed that due to our socio-economic difference at that time his family would not accept me.
That time I walked away completely, never called him again. I was able to casually see him from afar about 4 times over the course of about 3 years, I ran away from him, I couldn't see him again and feel rejected.
After some time one of my best friends invited me to a gay bar, I was fascinated with the freedom in which they expressed themselves there, people kissing passionately in every corner, I just imagined myself there with Adrian, it had been about 4 years and I did not stop wishing to be with him. Until I fell in love with a woman. Since then I have lived other love stories with girls, I never wanted to be with Adrian again.
One day I was walking hand in hand with a girlfriend and I saw Adrian, he passed by my side, I pretended not to see him and went on my way, I do not deny that I felt some discomfort and I let the girl go abruptly. She asked me what had happened to me, I told her:
"I just saw an old friend who doesn't know that I hang out with girls now".
"No wonder he stared at you".
Years later I saw Adrian again, casually, this time we talked for a while, he told me many things, he asked me if it was his fault that I had stopped being interested in men and asked me to forgive him for everything that had happened.
I told him that it was not his fault that now he prefers to be with girls, it is something that has always been in me and I told him that I did not hold a grudge, I just asked him why all his bad behavior towards me, to which he replied "he was a boy who had no life experience".
That day he asked me for my new phone number and since for me it has always been totally pleasant to talk to him, since, I consider him a very intelligent person with whom I could talk about almost anything, I did not see any problem and gave it to him.
By his whatsaap statuses, I realized that apart from being one of the best lawyers in my country, he was also a Tarotista, something that shocked me a lot, so when 
I could not hold my curiosity and made an appointment, I can say that it was a quite accurate consultation and with a different approach, he explained to me that he began to be interested in this subject reading some philosophers and that he has found a great guide in his life in the Tarot, but this is not the time to talk about it.
After the consultation, Adrian started to write me daily good morning and good night messages with emojis of hearts and that kind of stuff. At that time I was scorned by a girl and I let him know, he invited me for a coffee in a beautiful place and I wanted to see him, I wanted to tell him about something that had happened to me and ask for his advice as a lawyer and as a person.
He was as charming as in our best moments, he asked me if I still wanted to be with him and with all sincerity I told him no, that feeling and desire had long since changed. We said goodbye with affection and a hug, but I did not see him again, not even by chance, he also disappeared from my Whastaap and my Facebook .....
I don't know if he must have consulted the Tarot for advice about me or, being such a smart man, he simply saw that he no longer had the opportunity he turned down more than once many years ago.
If you have come this far, I thank you for having accompanied me and I hope I have not bored you with such a long story, which I tried to summarize as best as possible, but it was even more intense than what you can read.