[Week 137] First butterflies in my stomach

Hello, Happy Friday bees.

Now that I start to remember, I was asexual until I was 16, neither sex, nor dating was my obsession, I had my attention set on other horizons, but high school was a hormone fest and talking about sexual awakening in a subliminal way became our daily bread, so I ended up succumbing to the collective feeling.

I did not enjoy a sensible personality, so I smoked and consumed alcohol without finding any pleasure in the habit, thank God this did not become a problem for me. My best friend Mimi (a friendship I keep to this day), knew everything about me, she was my faithful confidant, so one day I confessed to her that I really liked to be in the company of Michael, a classmate of ours who was a magnetic and open-minded neo hippie.

I'm still not clear if I was an outcast or I locked myself in, but Michael had the key to get me flowing in the middle of the party, we talked about everything, as a friend he was sensational, he was silent when it was prudent and spoke accurately, he stayed out of trouble and had a great sense of humor.

Looking at the ceiling at dawn I knew he was in love, I thought of a plan to cross the line of friendship, but days later Michael told me he needed my help to conquer Isabel, shy and beautiful girl of our group of friends, his plan of conquest worked and they became boyfriend and girlfriend.

I stepped aside little by little and without leaving traces, but my process was not suffered, I went back to being asexual and concentrated on cultivating other talents, even so, I remember the boy as my first especially intense feeling.

Between Michael and me, nothing happened, eventually I (with a few too many drinks) told him that, in the not so distant past, I loved him as something more than a friend, he kept silent and we never discussed that topic again.

Today, Michael is an integral health professional, he has a wife and a son, we are still friends and I, I carry the infinite step of the walker.

Thank you, Blessings to all.