If there is anything that I have learnt from the past few weeks, it is that I have my limits and that when I overstep them I crash and burn (as we all do). I crashed pretty hard this time, struggling to find the energy to do simple tasks and getting very frustrated with it.
As time dragged by, I wasn't seeing much progress with my healing. Then I started to get worried, I had lost weight along the way and my eldest daughter started to express her concern. Especially as we all witnessed my sister deteriorate. I kept telling her that i was healing, but I also felt like I had hit a wall and my energy was just not picking up.
I got dizzy and overheated if I tried to do too much and I just felt really frail. Something that is really hard for me to accept. I'm used to walking everyday,being super active and carrying my youngest on my back as I walk to town to get supplies. But suddenly just trying to hand wash was exhausting me.
I am stubborn and have spend many years managing by myself, asking for help is something I continue to find really difficult and yes it is something I am working hard on. Cos here’s the thing, I would get upset to think a friend of mine was suffering and didn’t feel comfortable enough to reach out to me.
But this is something that is deep rooted in me, ultimately stemming from the fact that I believe I am not worthy of receiving any help! Some things are so embedded within us, I have improved a bit, but still I tend to push myself and then I end up getting sick all over again. This repetitive behaviour is quite destructive, I know this, but yet I still struggle to reach out!
This time, some members of my community could see that I was unwell as I have lost a fair amount of weight so I couldn't really hide it and struggle on alone. I did have 
So my frustration grew and then I started to worry. Because I didn't really know what was going on, my brain went into overdrive, so I had to check in with myself a few times and tell myself that it would be okay. But to be honest I really didn't feel too good. I could literally feel my energy dropping and I was so fatigued.
It's not easy being a single mum and not being able to give my girls what they need, which is my time and energy. I found it easier to just let them watch some documentaries or cartoons in the evening, because I was too exhausted sometimes even to read to them and I was getting increasingly irritable too.
This was not what I wanted them to be doing, but I felt like I didn't have a choice.
Two of my closest friends came to visit me and told me that they were really worried, so they had booked an appointment for me
with a local Naturopath, who would use some diagnostic tools to see what was going on.
I had spoken to one naturopath over the phone who recommended some remedies for me, and I seemed to improve a little only for me to go down hill again. But it is always better to see someone face to face, so this week I went to see him. I was a little nervous and got even more so when he began to tell me about the blockages I had and the parts of my body that were extremely overworked and constricted. But on a positive note my ph was good, 6.9 so I knew that it was not going to be anything chronic.
One thing he did tell me is that I am extremely sensitive to technology, so that I need to reduce the amount of time I spend on my phone and online. I kind of knew that already, but I do love to stay informed so I was using them a bit too much.
For this reason I am going to finish this post here and continue in more detail tomorrow about my appointment and some of the wonderful witchy brews that he recommended. Until then, be well xxx