Close to our house, we have a beautiful park on the beach, surrounded by greenery. Some people come here to have a picnic and have fun, others come here to meditate to get away from the stress of the city and find some peace. We often come here with our dog. We don't forget to bring snacks and eat something. Everything we eat in the open air tastes better to me. It makes me very happy to sit here and eat and drink something.
Since my mother is a single woman, she has to deal with all the responsibilities and stress of life alone. My mother is very emotional and unfortunately she is not capable of handling things on her own. I have to take care of her all the time. Many people even say "It's like you are her mom! " I have been mothering my mother for a very long time. I try to spend time with her and make her happy as much as I can. Today I brought her to the park and I wanted her to relieve some of the stress she was experiencing. She sat in the greenery, prayed and meditated a little with the healing sound of the water wave. Then she played with my dog and cheered herself up. I could tell she was happy.
My life has been about taking responsibility for others. My mother, my father, my siblings, I took responsibility for all of them and I made an extra effort to make them happy. I think I was unfair to myself without realizing it. Now I want to live a little bit for myself. Or rather, I don't want to say;
"I don't want to die before I live!"
I'm constantly analyzing my life and repeating this phrase. I realize that I'm always postponing living. I'm always waiting for something to happen and my life has been spent waiting. Now I want to live for real! I want to say I have lived to the fullest... It's my time now!
