A love story and my first love...
Upon arriving home I was met with the words; I've lost you, to which I replied, No, you've gained someone new. Upon hearing those words, I felt everything I had strived for being ripped from me and I was devastated thinking I may have a heart attack on the spot. For the remainder of the evening and into the night I shared what had happened and the new love I had encountered after experiencing the absolute glory of God. It was life changing, a new paradigm, as He was now my first love; a love I had sought all of my life. No longer did I seek fame and fortune but my Father's will. No longer did I seek ranches and jets but to follow His lead. After many failed relationships I knew that His way was the only way if true love and peace were to ever be attained. After many years of obedient prayer it was so.
We can have His best or we can have our best and wisdom always teaches to seek His best because our best is not so good.
Over the course of the next two weeks I sold my Porsche and shared with my partner that I was divesting my position with the company. Later on, I sold my Mercedes wagon and purchased a VW Diesel Rabbit. The house in Buckhead I relinquished along with all of my possessions. In truth, her family trust had purchased the house as her family was extremely wealthy. This was a very difficult and intense time however I knew that if either of us were to find true peace and happiness we must separate for a time if not for good. We were both young and I suggested she enter grad school at the expense of the family trust, as she was very intelligent and a hard worker. She responded with if I left we would never speak again which has been the case to date.
A couple of years ago I did some online research to discover after her fathers death the family became involved in litigation over the vast amounts of money, oil wells, estates, et al. She is no longer married and with two children and my prayers are with her as I daily thank my Father for His wisdom and guidance. In fact, many of my old girl friends are divorced with children.
Today, many seek love and companionship because it is tough to be alone and the only reason I write this is to point the only way to peace and happiness which can only be found in Him. A three fold cord is not easily broken and we all need love as everyone is needy and He alone satisfies.
For too many years I lived a shame based life and shame always leads to disfunction. Heres how it works in accord with Scripture. First a sin is committed which is always self serving leading to an addiction always needing to be satisfied. The addiction always leads to disfunction leading into codependency where one sees oneself through the eyes of others which is a one sided emotionally destructive way of living. The result is a shame based society easily manipulated and controlled. May want to take a look around. Tally the score card.
Up until coming to know Christ I laughed at folks getting married. In Atlanta, women were 10 to 1 and the one's I knew were intelligent, good looking and well heeled. Upon awakening, I realized women were not for my pleasure but for His alone. Women were to be praised, cherished, protected, revered and loved. They were special creations for His Glory and not mans. I realized the whole purpose of life, of drawing breath, is for His Glory. We are called to obedience and not sacrifice. It was a new day, a new birth, a new way of living, no longer one man teaching many but His Holy Spirit teaching each as he or she should go. What a beautiful life.
It was many years later at the age of 48 I met and married the lady of my dreams and we had our first of four children at the awesome age of 50. Now the journey begins. So at the young age of 32 eight days before my 33 birthday I came to know Christ: John 8:32.
