Truth be told, it's not always pleasant when you're called out. Whether you're called out for something true or false, it's usually not a pleasant feeling. Most times, what hurts the most is when you're called out by someone close to you.
Some people might say they call someone out so that the person can make corrections. Be that as it may, I've seen people quarrel and friendships end because of call-outs.
Let me share my experience.
I was a class representative while in the university. Believe me, it was never easy.
I was always busy, especially because of the fact that I was trying to balance it with my demanding academics. Most times I was thinking of how to arrange classes and make things run smoothly. Sometimes, when I'm at home and trying to rest, lecturers would call demanding to see me in their office immediately. The bottom line is that a lot of responsibilities were on me, that sometimes I forget some important things I need to do.
One day, a classmate of mine called me to complain about one of his results. I was busy at that moment, so I told him that I would help him out with the issue later. Eventually, I forgot to get back to him because different events came by and got my attention.
I didn't know he took it terribly. A day later, I woke up in the morning to check my messages on Whatsapp, only to see him calling me out on the class group. He said "I was incompetent and inconsiderate to others", "I was terrible at doing the job of a class rep", and so many hurtful things. I was even insulted and called names. The surprising thing is that this was somebody I regarded as a friend. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw all he said.
He didn't even express his grudges to me first. I'm not someone who is above correction or takes it badly, but if it's done in the wrong way, I believe everyone, not just me, will have a problem with me. This felt like betrayal. I never expected such a thing from him. If he had come to me, and told me about his grudges, I would have easily apologized to him for neglecting his problem, and I would have done everything I could to help him resolve his issue.
My happiness was that as he called me out, people defended me. A lot of people came down heavily on him for saying such things about me. It felt good knowing that there are people who would defend me when someone says terrible things about me.
Since that day, my friendship with him went south. We barely talked or interacted. During our final days at school, he started to come around, becoming more friendly, but he didn't really apologize.
Despite that, I only treated him as a classmate, and nothing more. I believe that before calling out someone, try to engage with that person. Calling out should be a last resort, when every other option has failed, and it should be in a respectful manner.
Image used is mine
