Everybody in the compound knew that something was wrong the moment Aisha stopped talking.
See it was not the normal quiet oh, This one was that kind silence that was heavy, it was the type that just makes you uncomfortable even when nothing has happen, She was still greeting people, still cooks, still smiles a bit, but the smile didn't reach her eyes.
“Why you dey always quiet like this?” her friend Zainab ask one evening as sat outside the house.
Aisha shrug. “I’m fine.”
Zainab hissed at her, You no fine o, because I know you too well.
Aisha didnt answer, she just looked at the sky.
The truth was , Aisha has been carrying alot of things in her mind like alot has been bothering her. Since her father die two years ago, life has just been very unpleasant for them, The house that was once full with noise turned quiet, Her mother started selling food at the roadside just to survive and Aisha too dropped her school plans to help out.
Nobody has really asked her how she feels.
Everybody just says, “You are strong,” “You are brave,” “God will reward you.”
But nobody asks, “Are you tired?”
One night, as there was no light as usual ,Aisha sat at the table, candle in front of her. She brought out one of her old notebook and pen, Her hands were shaking as she starts to write.
She didn't know who she was writing to actually, Maybe herself, Maybe God. Maybe anyone that will finally understand.
“I have tried, like I have really tried” she write, "I dont complain because people depend on me, But sometimes, it is really hard.”
Tears dropped on the paper.
“I miss my father so much, i miss the life we had before, before everything went south, I am really tired of pretending that I am strong every day.”
She stop, cleaned her face, continue.
“ I just want someone to hear me, not someone to advise me, or judge me in any way , seriously I just want to be heard badly.”
Then the next morning, she left the notebook on the table and went to go market with her mother, she was suppose to pack this book bag in the bag she had brought it out from, but because her mom was in a haste, she left it there.
Later in the day, her younger brother Musa entered the room, he has just gotten back home from where he was an apprentice, He saw the notebook Aisha had left on the table, just as he was about to sit down, on a norms he doesnt touch her things , but something pushed him to open it.
And as he dey read, his face changed
So this is what my sister Aisha has been hiding from us?
Later that evening when Aisha come back from the market , she saw Musa sitting quietly outside the house.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked him.
Musa stood up and hugged her so tight.
Aisha freezed, “Musa, what is happening na?”
“I read it” he whisper, "Your notebook.”
Her heart started beating fast. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I never knew that you have been hurting this much, it's really painful to realise that this is what you are going through say."
Aisha eyes filled with tears. “I don't want worry anybody.”
Musa shook his head. “You are not robot my sister, you know you are human.”
That night, as they sat together and talked like , Real talk , they cried about, also did Laugh too, and for the first time in long while, Aisha felt light, so light she could feel herself breathe well without her chest tighten.
Sometimes, heartfelt isn't big speech, it can be when those small truth comes to life.
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