If money were never a worry, honestly, my life would look so different , but also, somehow, exactly the same at its core.
The first thing I would do is give my family the kind of ease they deserve,
My first step would be to offer my family the simplicity they rightfully deserve; no more of staying up at night doing arithmetic in my head, wondering if the bills will balance out this month. I would want my parents to rest, really rest, I would want to build them the house they always dreamed of, not the one we could afford to rent, Family first, always, that part of me will never change, money or no money.
Then there is the charity fountain and I say fountain because that is exactly what it would be, something that keeps flowing, that never runs dry, not a one time donation drive that fizzles out after the news cycle moves on, but something sustainable, something that keeps giving long after people have stopped paying attention, I have seen how quickly the world's attention shifts, how compassion has an expiry date for so many people, i do not want to be that, I want to build something that outlasts the moment.
And it would not stop at charity in the traditional sense, i would want to get companies involved, real companies with real resources, and convince them that creating jobs is its own form of giving, because handouts help for a day, but a job changes a life, I would want to be the person knocking on doors, making the case, connecting people who have nothing to people who have everything, so that dignity not just survival becomes possible for more people.
And that handout is a short term solution, and a job is a long term one, so, I would want to be there, I would want to be the one out there talking to the people, telling the people that making a job means giving them a dignity to live, I would want to be the one whose job is to call on people and to get people connected to people who have something that they can give them a dignity to live.
I would still want my dream family. Not a fantasy, just... peace, Laughter in the kitchen, a home that feels like home, not just four walls I'm stressed about paying for, kids that don't inherit my worry, a life where love doesn't have to fight with financial worry for space in my head.
But here is the thing , even without money as an obstacle, I do not think I would just disappear into comfort. I believe there is a different me that emerges when I don't have my self-consciousness playing this interior monologue of "I wonder if this is an affordable option.I believe there's a me that's fully present when I'm not mired in my own thoughts and in my own mind racing through "I wonder if this is an affordable option. This is the one I'm after.
Money was never really the dream, Freedom was, freedom to love people well, to build something that lasts, to take hardship and make it into hope for someone else, the way I always hoped someone would for me.
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