tipping cows
yes, if you keep doing what you are doing, because you believe what you are believing, things will occasionally change, a little, but mostly, they'll stay the same.
sure, you'll kick your butt once in a while and have a flurry of activity and accomplishments, but you'll quickly tire and lose momentum. you'll find excuses (weak, bullshit ones), you'll give up, or run away... you'll hide behind responsibilities and everyday obligations, and struggle through. woe is me.
then the inevitable barriers will surface: you need money to make money; someone else beat me to it (and they are selling/providing/producing for everyone on the planet?); when i can live in a better home, have a studio, have a workshop; when i finally have some time to myself; you can't force art or creativity; i need to take courses first; i don't know my purpose/passion/mission...
you might as well get stupid drunk and be tipping cows. that blocked-up, untapped, stagnated energy needs an outlet. odds are, you'll waste it in harmful or empty ways.
or, your body will store it (our energy centers are subject to thoughts, beliefs, emotions and trauma). thus, over time, dysfunction and ill-health is inevitable. you'll then have more excuses as health concerns move to the forefront. doctors will prescribe pills or surgery. maybe you'll seek natural or holistic options... yet always be behind the eight ball, always worried it'll get worse -- but it gives you a focus; it gives you a reason to be disciplined and to change your lifestyle and routine.
if it's bad enough to threaten your mortality, maybe now you'll feel motivated to get down to business, for your days may be numbered (weren't they before?). you're no longer concerned with what anybody thinks, or what they've done before. you have nothing to lose... it also matters not if you fail.
why must it come to this before you go for it? it really doesn't matter your challenge or disability -- real or imagined! all can be overcome, accommodated, healed, or adapted to. you're still here.
you have within every cell of your being information and coding and genetics that have evolved, mutated, emerged, adapted, and thrived over billions of years (as has everything around us). who and what we are today is perfectly suited to this earth, at this time and space and dimension.
so own it.
look again. awaken. life will verify and validate what you believe -- and what you deem to be possible. yet, you don't know what you don't know.
less vanity and arrogance, more surrender, trust, vulnerability, and courage.
sadness is a clue. depression, hopelessness, and anger, are all clues. you're primed for expansion. talk to someone. journal it all out. eyes open!
solvitur ambulando
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