One thing I've learned so far is “cruelness”.
It can be sweet today and be tough tomorrow, the people you help freely today might want to give back the help in return for something else tomorrow and all this makes the world “cruel”.
The life of independence has long kicked off for me. Having lived a comfortable and carefree life, I wouldn't say it was all easy blending into sudden hardship.
I never knew I was gradually carrying up the burden of my family, until the period when I had successfully had an operation and was eager to go back home and continue my work when I heard my siblings hadn't eaten the night before.
Well, that was in my opinion. I was literally working and feeding the house. During that period also, I recall forfeiting my savings to pay for some of my siblings' textbooks and so on.
However, the exact day I successfully called myself Independent, was the time I single handedly paid for my admission form into running a one year program after much struggles.
I knew about the program 2 weeks before the deadline. I wasn't entirely sure about my capacity but I knew I just needed to have a certificate higher than just SSCE.
That prompted me into getting the bigger bottles of the popular oil perfumes on credit and began sales. After work, I went to sell on the road. Hmm.. I called mine classic hawking since i visited the banks and other minor private companies around.
Luckily I was able to raise the money, although I bid the selling price a little higher than the regular rate (still feel guilty till date.lol) all to meet up at the end and was able to pay for my entry.
The after effect from the parents wasn't good tho. But that's a different story.
Anyways, whenever i think of that experience, i couldn't just help it but smile at myself. Along the line, I remember bumping into a secondary classmate of mine. Immediately I saw her, I literally avoided her.
She was looking way pretty and i supposed was probably in her year 3 as at that time while i was there struggling to raise money for a year program.
In the midst of losing self confidence, I advised myself and of course praised me for being true even with all and then I gained my peace back.
Currently, I am off home and officially dependent on myself for everything. It's been hard, we however continue pushing and hoping for the best at the end.
