Bigbro do not come home today if you don’t want to see mum. To be honest, it sounded strange hearing it the first time, I could not place my fingers on what my younger sister was saying, my brain still trying to process the meaning of those words and then the only thing I could ask was what do you mean? The possibility of my mum coming from another state was just unheard of, I know she lived two states away, I had not seen her in over a year, not been home for up to a week in over 3 years, in that time I had only visited home once and I left the very next day.
The only thing I could ask myself was “What does this woman want again with me? Why is she so desperate to see me that she does not mind taking the risk to travel at this time just to catch me directly off guard with this surprise visit. I should be happy, I should be missing her, I have not seen her in years and I should be rushing home to see her, but I just could not bring myself to do that. I tried to be happy, looking for joy in her coming felt like I was trying to move a mountain. No matter how much I tried, my heart refused to be happy.
There was no need to be happy after I had just lost the very person that made me happy. I have had to end things with the person my joy revolves around, and although I knew I needed to do it, it had to be done because I needed peace between the women in life. It was a necessary decision that broke me, and even though I loved both of them, I guess she knew she had also lost something the day I lost her. She had lost a part of her son, and needed to find it. Finally I knew why she was coming and I bluntly spoke the words. Park a few of my things, I will be home to collect them.
Image by macrovector_official on Magnific
I am not ready to see her, “I said to myself”, I know she means well, but I need to be alone, the pain from the loss I feel is too much, I know her, I know she would not understand, I know she would want to bend me to her will when she sees me, but I am not easily bent, and she would have to see me first. With this in mind, I rushed home from the office, got my things and went back to the office. At that point I knew my workspace would offer me the refuge and peace my house could not give, and I was so ready to accept it. I decided I will be seeing her in my own time, I was too hurt and too angry to listen to reason. What I wanted was not what was right, but something to calm me down.
Sorry mum, I would not be coming home tonight. This was my reply to her hours later after I pretended to be shocked about her coming. I have work to do “I lied”, I need to be on site tonight and will not be back until tomorrow. I knew she knew I was lying, but there was nothing she could do about it. She knew I was running from her so she decided to play the waiting game as though she expected that I would do just that. It was as though she had already predicted the outcome before I even knew of her intent. She was already ready to make her next move as though we were locked in a tight game of chess.
Okay, I’ve heard you, and I will be waiting for you. These simple eleven words made me realize that I had lost the fight before it started. She was in my house afterall, then I thought about it, what is stopping her from forcing my little sister into giving her my office address. I knew now that she was in my city, it would not take her much effort to find me physically. She had the time, and was not in a hurry to go. This was when it dawned on me that I had only 24 hours to put myself together and make the decision I have been running away from for some time now.
The next day I decided to finally see my mum, as I expected, she had already made herself comfortable in my house awaiting my return. From the look of things, she was ready for any strategy I had put in place. Entering into the house the first thing I saw made me feel guilty. My favorite box was gone. Or should I call it her favorite box which I had stolen many years ago was gone. She had taken back her property immediately after she came to my house. She waited 5 years to take it back, it was a wedding gift and the only wedding gift she has left. I felt guilty because she had begged me to find a way to return it, but I found different excuses to keep it. Now the real owner is here, and I must relinquish it.
THIS IS MY ENTRY INTO THE INKWELL COMBINED WRITING PROMPT #36
