Over the years, I have learned that I do not seek perfect friends. Perfection, besides being impossible, is cold; it does not allow for humanity, nor missteps, nor the contradictions that make us real. But I do need those I call friends to have certain qualities that are essential to me, almost like pillars that support trust. Among them, there are two that can never be missing: loyalty and responsibility. The other two are born from my experience, from my wounds, and from what I have learned.
Loyalty, for me, is the root of every true bond. I am not talking about blind loyalty, but about that silent presence that holds steady even when the world becomes noise. A loyal friend is one who does not disappear when life gets complicated, who does not shift their stance according to convenience, who does not play both sides. Loyalty gives me peace because it allows me to be vulnerable without fear that my words will end up in the wrong hands. It is the certainty that, even if we argue, even if we have differences, there is an emotional commitment that will not be betrayed.
Responsibility, on the other hand, is the most concrete form of respect. A responsible friend watches what they say, keeps their promises, and understands that friendship is also a space sustained by actions, not just affection. Irresponsibility hurts me because it makes me feel that my time and my emotions do not matter. In contrast, when someone is responsible, I know I can count on them without having to justify my expectations. Responsibility is consistency, and consistency is a form of care.
The third quality I seek is emotional honesty. I need friends who say what they feel without masks, without games, without silences that turn into distance. Emotional honesty is not always comfortable, but it is always liberating. I prefer a truth that hurts over a lie that keeps me in an illusion. An honest friend allows me to grow, confronts me when necessary, and walks with me without disguising what they think.
The fourth quality is empathy. Without empathy, friendship becomes a cold, almost mechanical exchange. Empathy is the ability to put themselves in my place, to understand my silences, to read my gestures, to accompany without judging. An empathetic friend does not need me to explain everything; they feel, they intuit, they accompany. And I deeply value those who know how to listen with their hearts and not just with their ears.
I do not seek perfect friends, but I do seek friends who know how to be loyal, responsible, honest, and empathetic. Because those qualities do not demand perfection; they demand humanity. And humanity, when lived authentically, is the greatest gift that friendship can offer.
Note: The images are my own property.
DeepL Translate translator.
