Here it comes again the darkness moving in.
It feels like a prison cell for one, I know it well; they close right in the walls from within it can't be stopped the darkness is my old friend, it's here to visit me once more again.
All I can do is tame it, slow it down, relax my way through. I know it can't stay long I'm feeling rather strong. Since my days of being wild I hope those days are all long gone.
For inside I can't hide I won't act the clown or jump up and down
I won't even sport my everlasting frown.
But I will sit still to think my way through, taking one more look to see how I feel or what I should do.
So I sit here relaxed without any distractions I've waited sometime for this moments approach bringing forth all its actions.
Devastated all the while I've awaited this moment, I've not given that dark place much thought I've not had time to waste so I've stored that dark energy in a very bad dark cold place, I put it to rest on ice so to speak for its future is week an extremely bleak.
Now I can not digress since it's time for my test.
It can't stay detained forever to be blamed, it can't be subdued. Without further a clue or fear I'll deal with it here.
I allow it to flow slow, let these feelings roll in and I won't do a thing.
Not like a bull at a gate without time to hesitate.
I'll take time to understand my way my self doubt, my fears, my self worth, I'll take note of feelings past present and future.
I can't change the past and the present won't last for it's already now become the late past.
I know my feelings will change in the future, how I feel right now, is not how I'll feel next week or next year though I need to feel clear.
Being clear will help me decide how I feel deep inside.
Am I able to get through this shit and still keep my pride?
It's all too well known that dark place I'm goin when my trust has been blown by those who have shown
that place on the fence where I see their pretence of love, loyalty, honour all washed away in the blink of an eye without a moment to stay or say it's goodbye.
That dark place where the world makes you sick to the core and the love you once shared now lies on the floor.
Your faith in your race has lost all it's place in your heart and dreams, for now my only goal is to look deep within your soul.
Others demise in your eyes as you wake up to realise, the virtues held so close to your heart are meaningless to those around you right from the start.
If I wasn't so blind the word treason would stay on mind.
I've no one to blame for the way I remain. The scar that I burden distrust is it's name for this shit now rips into me I won't go insane.
I'm left spent, broken and unshapely with nothing more left out there to even slightly amaze me.
When it comes to lust or trust or anything else you so need to feed all your greed no longer look toward me for I am not anymore your humble steed.
Author Tony 99%er PISSED ON
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