The past few weeks I was in a deep personal process. Trying to heal myself, finding out why did this happen to me, what was my part in this situation and how could I act different? What made me freeze? And so on... A lot of questions to peel the layers and to feel what needed to be.
I got into this situation, that someone made me feel that they did wrong to me. Character assassination, victim-blaming, self-prophecy etc. Different roles passing by like victim and at the same time perpetrator. It was confusion, misleading and challenging to get to the point, to the core. In the end I am a human being and I felt lost.
Even to the extend that my soul did facilitate a safe arena and offered options to get out of this karmic loop. Ending soul-contracts was one of them. The ultimate ending of a karmic loop with that person or persons, with my soul-family.
My soul (or higher-self) made me experience what would happen if the contract ended. Everyone involved within the contract got free and all the lessons, friendships and soul-mission attached to it, would end. That made me feel sad. It's not what I want. (Besides that this particular soul-contract has to be ended in mutual ways, most soul-contracts can be ended from one side).
On the question what is the alternative, what can I do to get out of this karmic-looping.
The only way is deeper within.
What did I miss, while I was peeling the layers. What didn't I see or feel, what was my blind spot?
After 3 days not sleeping and hardly eating. I asked my coach and he just asked this question.
How is your inner child feeling..?
My inner child was hurt, didn't felt to be seen, didn't felt that he was being taking care of, that made him angry, frustrated, lonely and sad.
When I started to nurture my inner child, make him feel that he is important to me and that I always will take care of him. And asking him, if he ever felt this way again to let me know.
Making our inner child feel safe is one of the many layers we can do to make right what was wronged.
As a multi-dimensional soul we can go to many places to recall our memories. Past lives as a human being, passed lives as a soul in a different world, like the Pleiadeans or Sirian or even other dimensions.
Anyway I went back to the first time that this happened to me as human being on earth.
For me it was a few thousand years ago. I was in the same setting, but had different soul contracts (which tore me apart). I was easy to be manipulated (in other words, I was easy to fall for a spell). The only thing I had to do at that moment in time, was to stand up for myself, embrace who I am and take control over my being. No-one has the power over me and make me his/her puppet. I claimed my space, my dignity, my authority and I claimed the piece of my soul I had left behind.
By doing so we can alter our past, as it never happened before. Basically what happens when we change a decision in the past. Another parallel 'you' takes over, like it never happens.
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This whole day I was upset and suddenly I couldn't remember why I was upset. Actually it's pretty hard to recall what happened and why I was upset. My memory of that particular incident got erased.
In the end we are here to remember and embrace who we truly are and to get the best version of ourselves in this moment.
Photo by Suzanne D. Williams on Unsplash
