I let myself wonder, and there is something humbling about realizing that uncertainty does not mean I am incapable of moving, but simply that I have not reached the part where the answer can be seen yet,
I let myself wonder, resisting the old habit of filling the silence with conclusions because an empty space makes me feel as though I am falling behind,
I let myself wonder, allowing myself to remain inside the question without immediately converting it into a demand for correct answer,
I let myself wonder, can I stay here without making my uncertainty mean something is wrong with the plan itself,
I let myself wonder, from the beginning of my curiosity now the pressure to have an answer begins to loosen…
I notice what appears, when I stop forcing myself toward one particular destination and become available to the unexpected things happening along the way,
I notice what appears, a connection I had not planned, a possibility I nearly dismissed, a direction that would never have occurred to me if I had been too busy protecting the original idea,
I notice what appears, because discovery requires enough looseness for something unfamiliar beyond I can see without immediately being rejected by the mind that thought it already knew,
I notice what appears, what have I been too focused on finding to recognize what is already trying to show itself as I begin to realize,
I notice what appears, where the direction and the goal becomes wider than my true intentions…
I let myself wander, not into avoidance but into the kind of movement where one thought touches another and suddenly I am somewhere I could not have reached by taking the straightest route,
I let myself wander, trusting that not every productive day looks productive while it is happening,
I let myself wander, because sometimes the mind needs enough freedom to make connections that willingness to a fixed destination would have prevented,
I let myself wander, can I tell the difference between losing direction and discovering another one but unattached to the actual outcome,
I let myself wander, the discovery stage is like something unexpected now begins connecting the scattered pieces…
I return with new set of eyes, bringing back what I found without needing to pretend that the detour was part of my original plan all along,
I return with new set of eyes, less interested in proving that I was right and more interested in seeing what the experience has changed in the work and in me,
I return with new set of eyes, accepting that the best discoveries sometimes arrive disguised as mistakes, interruptions, wrong turns, or moments when I thought I had lost my way,
I return with new set of eyes, can I trust what I learned even if I cannot yet explain why it is beyond what truly matters,
I return with new set of eyes, pretending that the path looks different because I have changed while walking in it…
Watchwords:
Uncertainty does not mean incapable
The pressure to have an answer
the work becomes wider than intention
Something unexpected begins connecting
The path looks different because I changed
Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, “Who am I?”..
As and will always be reminding you to dream:
