[OC] Kindness ranks #1 in global long-term partner preferences: 117,293 people from 175 countries allocate a fixed 30 "importance points" across traits (2025 study)

OC *Flourish

The data shows how the world allocates their budget from the International Mate Preference Project (2025).

One of the biggest studies done on partner selection in 2025, Kowal and his collaborators surveyed over 117,000 individuals across 175 different countries.

Each individual had to give a total of 30 points of 'importance' to six different characteristics they would want in a long-term partner.

The results of this study were very interesting in that they show what the highest ranking factors were for men and women and where they differed from each other.

Kindness was the number one factor for everyone. On average, women assigned a score of 9.2 points to kindness, while the average score for men was 8.7 points. Clearly, kindness and compassion are the number one quality people want in their partner regardless of where they're from.

Physical appearance had the greatest disparity between men and women when assigning points. The average score women gave to physical appearance was 4.8 points, while men were almost twice as high at 8.9 points. This demonstrates that in general men place more importance on looks compared to women.

The most interesting difference comes into play when looking at monetary factors. Women assigned a score of 7.3 points to financial attributes, compared to 3.9 points for men, it shows that women place a much greater importance on financial prospects than men. Thus, overall, security and resources remain more important for women when considering long-term relationships.

Other qualities ranked lower.

Good health got 6.1 from women and 5.4 from men.

The “right age” was worth 4.2 points for men and 3.6 for women.

Religiousness came in last, with just 1.1 for men and 0.8 for women. But it's probably ranked a lot higher in more religious regions or countries.

Bottom line: kindness is the clear winner by a mile, but men still lean toward looks while women care more about financial stability. Even in today’s world, these basic preferences hold strong.

References:

1. Journal Article (Nature Scientific Data)
   Kowal, M., et al. (2025). The International Mate Preference Project: A large-scale cross-cultural study of mate preferences. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41597-025-05365-2

2. OSF Project Repository
   Kowal, M., & International Mate Preference Project. (2025). International Mate Preference Project [Data set]. OSF. https://osf.io/svfuh/