Have you ever had the thought that people across all walks of life are a problem when it comes to executing plans, making changes, or holding events? Humans are often the source of the issue. There's always an excuse for one thing or the other.
You have a meeting with someone at a certain time, then they show up behind schedule, further delaying what had to be done. Almost always, an important person is lagging and holding up decision-making or certain activities.
I despised this characteristic, and knowing well enough that I cannot change people as much as it is our collective desire to change them to suit our needs and whims, I decided to just be different. I put in all my energy to be available when I'm needed and how I'm needed, as long as it mattered as much as it mattered.
Over the past few years, my friends and acquaintances have told me at different times how I'm an easy person to access or reach out to in a time of need. If there is a meeting, I show up. If I'm assigned a task, I make sure I'm at the forefront of getting it done. If someone needs my help with something, I can put my work aside and see theirs through. And the list goes on.
Then this month, it hit me. Availability is costly. It costs energy, all kinds of energy. Mental capacity, financial capacity, emotional capacity, physical capacity, relational capacity, you name it. I always had to show up on top of my game, I had to always prioritize between my work and others’ unless I would not have anything done for myself.
Life has a way of teaching you the hard way whether your intentions are pure or not. I'd fallen sick and I had to go off grid for a week to recover from all the strain I put myself through trying to be as available as possible. That week, I learnt that life works just fine without you or your input, it was designed that way; therefore, protect your energy at all times. Invest in your priorities and delegate some to others. Those that couldn't be done, trash them or try them the next day/time.
Since then, I stopped overreaching, I'm still as available or even more, but those things that will drain me, I wouldn't involve myself. When a person needs my help, I'd check ahead and inform them immediately if I can help or not so that they can seek someone else. I started saying no and learning to not feel uncomfortable. All these things and more, I started practicing to safeguard myself.
He who has died is gone, and life moves on so fast, almost like they never mattered.
