Each one of us needs to feel like we have a purpose. If we don’t, we’ll become the mere husks of the people we could be. It might not be as dramatic as the individuals Frankl (who we discussed a couple days ago) witnessed in the death camps, of course, but it will nonetheless, always feel like something is wrong. A person who doesn't have a purpose, is a person that doesn't have a life and we can always tell whether or not we've found that purpose by the way we feel. If we are complacent about where we are or what we are doing, we will have this deep lingering feeling that something is missing, or we will always be on a search for why we were put on this Earth without resolve. We will spend our waking hours distracted and will act without direction. When we have a reason for living however, we will always be at our strongest, because our own life will not be as important as our purpose. Doctor Stephen Rojcewitcz had found that during times of war, the suicide rates surprisingly decreased, instead of increased. This is because when the times become more stressful, people have to adapt to become strong for their family. It was no longer a matter about how they were feeling, it was about becoming something more than themselves for others.
People who are driven and who work towards what they want in life on a regular basis, are hungry. They are hungry for more and will do what it takes to satiate their appetite. People don't always find hunger right at the start, but it will develop more as you feed into it. Sometimes, it comes when you get a moment of insight. Sometimes, it doesn’t come until after you lose everything you have and wake up to the fact that your life isn't what it's cracked up to be. In some circumstances, someone has to be struck down from their place in society, by losing their jobs or losing their family before they get that wake-up call. That however, doesn't mean that a person needs to hit rock bottom just so they can finally look up. It's just that some people are so stubborn in their ways that they end up hitting rock bottom first. They need to get to basement level, before they finally get curious enough to take their attention away from the ground. Sometimes, they have to start questioning their entire life before it becomes evident that something needs to change. The way that Tony Robins explains it, is that life will always start by giving you gentle persuasions when something is wrong. It will nudge you in the other direction when you aren’t doing things that are beneficial. It will give you little warning signs that are there to remind you that maybe you should pay attention to what you are doing. When you ignore these suggestions for a prolonged time, life stops making suggestions and starts making demands. Your life goes into a state of crisis and now things are going to change whether you like it or not.
Think about your body for a second. If you are tired, that’s a warning sign that somethings wrong. Sure, it could be something as innocent as suggesting that you didn’t get enough sleep last night, but if it’s chronic, that’s life giving you that nudge. If someone notices that they have been tired for a while, investigate into the matter, and then conclude that they just haven’t been getting enough iron or vitamin B, then the problem has a quick fix. If a person says, “Screw it,” downs a pot of coffee, and follows it with energy drinks to compensate for it instead, then the problem stays. When the problem has been around for a while, the body won’t be able to function as well anymore and the problem will further develop. Life will have to once again, give some warning signs. If you have a deficiency for a prolonged time, your body has to compensate by using expensive exchanges of other vitamins and minerals to get around the deficiency. That can only happen for so long though, before serious issues start to develop such as anemia or beriberi. When someone eats a lot of sweets, they tend to get overweight. That’s the warning. If they ignore it for too long, diabetes is then the next result. When that is ignored, the body crumbles due to cancer. The main point here is that you can choose to ignore the warning signs until the day you die, but if you do, you might be surprised how quickly that day will arrive.
We don't have to wait for things to go to hell for us to find what we love, but that tends to be how it happens. Sometimes, the reason someone can't find their passion is just because they are too comfortable with where they are that they can't see what's really out there for them. Most of the times, people have to get to a point where they become so disgusted with the conditions of their own life, or what is happening to the people they love, that they finally say, "no more…" The point where you decide that you will refuse to continue living life like you have been, is the moment you have made the decision to make your life purpose a must, instead of a should. This is the point where things start changing because for once, you have been driven to the bottom and now, you refuse to stay there. This is the point where people find themselves right before hitting some of their biggest successes; the breakdown before the breakthrough. Wouldn't it be nice to have that much motivation without your life being reduced to shambles first? Why do people have to experience so much pain and misery before they finally fight back?
When we're comfortable, there is this fear that we have something to lose and it prevents us from taking that initial step forward which is essential to change our life. We might make the situation seem alright by telling ourselves that it's not that bad, or that it could be worse, but deep down, if we are really honest with ourselves, that’s not really living. I never understood why people would allow their lives to escape them without putting up a fight, but after a while, I realized that it was because they didn't feel like they could have done anything differently. In their world, the control was out of their hands. Like we talked about before, with the jars of fleas, dogs learning to be helpless, and glass ceilings, there isn't many things you can do when you don't feel your impact will have any effect on your situation.
In Eastern philosophy, there is an understanding among the people that there is an opposite force to everything; a yin and a yang. The idea of fluidity is paramount to their culture because forceful effort is only one representation of the pairing. Strong, solid, and decisive action is only as strong as its opposite, loose, flexible, and open counterparts. The idea of having control over your life, is only as powerful as understanding that somethings will happen outside of your control. That doesn't mean that a person doesn't have any impact on it. It just means that there will always be elements of both, present at all times. Unfortunately, there are people who live their entire existence only thinking that they don't have control over their outcomes and in turn, live at the mercy of what is handed to them. Surrendering to the unavoidable is a healthy practice, but nihilism is not. There is no reason to avoid finding your deeper purpose just because you are afraid you can't make it. Life can have a meaning for you if you allow