In the beginning I was a God given gift in answer to a boyish prayer for his soulmate, a girl to truly love him.
For years I was best friend,partner,wife. Someone who he couldn't wait to come home to. I was a respite from the darkness that shadowed him when he was out away from home.
In the end I have become hated and detested. My brightness that use to light his dark days has become to him a curse and reminder.
I have come to understand that after taking so many losses in our relationship his darkness is too low and my brightness for him was now too far a chasm for him to stand.
Misery loves company and when his darkness grew he couldn't feel connected anymore to me. We became unequally yoked.
As I was once provided to him as a vessel of God's love , now she has provided for his darkness. Hers is as much darker then him as I was light to him.
I am still bright now. Yes dampened from the damage but rebuilding. What is the wisdom now is to decide how I will allow what has happened to effect my memories of all that ever happened.
Do I now see it all through his dark lense he brought to it at the end? Or do I somehow overcome and remember it all with the same joy I has while living it?
Tell me of your own lessons if you can. May bitterness never rule me again.
