Today's post is a piece of writing submitted by a new writer we just added to The Dream Flow roster, Jason Veritas. If you're interested in submitting a piece, go to https://thedreamflow.com/ and send us three links to your work through our contact page.
DO NOT SUBMIT A PIECE THROUGH OUR CONTACT PAGE. WE WILL DELETE THE EMAIL. WE WILL REACH OUT TO YOU IF WE LIKE YOUR WORK.
It's dark outside. Time to make it up. Time to tell myself anything that will help me get some sleep. Time to invent the philosophy that encourages me to continue.
There are happy endings.
There is hope.
There is a God.
But what are words worth when I know they're meaningless? What is the point of pontificating when it's all so pointedly pointless?
"Put the bullshit away. I don't need it. I don't need to lie to myself the way you do. I am perfectly happy in my isolation." I say to myself trying to act tough like my favorite fill-in-the-blank movie star.
But that desire for a toughness which simply isn't there hints at an underlying weakness. The inability to allow for weakness is itself a weakness.
Who am I to judge myself? Who am I to pretend to be strong all the time?
Breaking our personal barriers is always the hardest.
And so what if I lie to myself? Everyone does. Everyone carries around their own version of bullshit. I'm just the only one with the guts to point out hypocrisies, the small tics of personality, mind, and attitude that drive people to behave the way they do, paralyzing themselves with their own misguided sense of self.
It is the curse of the observant, to know how to help someone and yet to be incapable of communicating it properly. I justify pointing out their flaws by telling myself that I would want them to do the same for me, because I want to be the best version of myself and the only way for that to happen is to hear the truth about myself.
It's actually a public service. I want them to be the best version of themselves, so why wouldn't I be honest with them when they ask me for an opinion they don't really want to hear?
I tell them the truth even if it means they won't like me, even if it means they'll hate me, because someday down the road they will think back on that moment and remember that they made a positive change in their life because of what I told them.
That's the lie I'll tell myself tonight.
© Jason Veritas