I'm at a loss for words at the moment, but enjoying my weekend. I think that if I had to discuss something, it would be the relationship between appearances and reality. I recently found myself in a setting where I don't believe that people realized the difference. For example, while young men might assert the reality that they are mature, sensitive or thoughtful, this claim fails to change their appearance as insensitive, foul-mouthed fools when they say some of the things they do. I'd go into specifics that might repulse, dear reader, and for that I do not wish to lower myself to repeating their utterances. I laugh to myself, because of the situational irony, something only witnesses to this bungle could enjoy. So, it was a topic of discussion, that really highlighted how while appearing to be an upstanding man, the reality of an immature boy comes out.
One guy asks another while in a voice call together, "Are you an incel?" I balk at the thought of asking someone if they're what's largely known as a pejorative insult. If I understand correctly, the slang term refers to someone as "involuntarily celibate". Now, I wouldn't even humor this discussion topic,as abstinence from anything remains a personal matter. But, here comes the remainder of the evening, with a gaggle of crass geese repeating phrases like "mommy milkers" and things not worth repetition or even contemplation. I mean, it was a slap in the face, some of the comments coming out of what was intended to be a jovial night of drinking and group mini-games, Jackbox.
After the first hour, I felt comfortable enough to invite other friends who asked what I was doing. By the second and third hours, remaining with the group proved mortifying. I could not even answer confidently that I invited someone to this setting because they hadn't been so outwardly derogatory and disrespectful. Truthfully, they were not at that point. I expected some raucous behavior considering drinks, but this event makes me painfully aware that along with many changes from the pandemic, young men specifically have not had time to learn to socialize properly nor recover from past emotional traumas. I mention trauma because I cannot hazard any other guesses as to why guys could be so vulgar with their thoughts and conversation.
I will sum up by saying, I have no doubts that people I spoke with do not know me, nor that I am black. I feel as though, if they did, they would at least preserve themselves by claiming they were not racist, misogynistic, or discriminatory at all. Yet, these imps laughed about everything Black, female, violent and more, crossing more boundaries than they're aware. The real prize for me by the end of the evening- people unaligned with me, what I care about, or the people I care about revealed themselves as the closeted bigots they embody. These people are approaching adulthood, guffawing at the nasty remarks an unknowing child would- without remorse. In fact, they instead tried to behave performatively offended, as we decided to make our exit early on. I do not have time for those interested in belittling others, nor the lack of depth in understanding how their ways could hurt others. Ain't nobody got time for that.
