You Really Don't Know What Someone Else is Experiencing...
Have you ever had somebody tell you ”I know exactly how you're feeling!”
Did the statement feel a little overbearing... or outright wrong to you?
I'll admit that we humans might be able to somewhat relate to what somebody else is experiencing, but we really have no way of knowing what someone else is feeling unless we have actually been in their shoes, and have had the identical experience that they're having, with the exact same the brain and life experience that got them to the exact point where they are right now.
Any assertion to the contrary is basically either a platitude or perhaps an attempt to insert their own story into the middle of your life.
The thing is we don't really know what anybody else is experiencing, and the truly compassionate thing is not about starting to talk about our similar situations but to simply sit and actually genuinely listening to what they are experiencing.
I remember the first time I really encountered this kind of situation when somebody I was rather close to started lecturing me about "what was good and what was not so good for me." And somehow I found myself — inside my head — adding the words "to you" at the end of every sentence they threw at me.
I could really sense that while they were trying to be sympathetic, they were also busy trying to solve my problems from the basis of their life experience. Well, your life is your life, and my life is my life and they are really not the same thing!
I don't share this to diminish the experience of those who identify as "empaths," but I can pretty much assure even they only feel others in a pretty general sense, not in a specific sense. Point being that most people who claim they "get it" actually don't get nearly as much as they'd like to think.
Bottom line is invariably that the best way to truly understand what what someone is experiencing is to actually listen to them and hear what they have to offer without judgment. It's not easy, because most people have been "trained" to make themselves the center of attention.
Sad, but true the vast majority of the time.
Well, I must get back to my preparations. Mrs. Denmarkguy and I have an arts and crafts show on Sunday where we're setting up as vendors. Lots of work to be done!
Thanks for stopping by, and have a great weekend!
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2026.09.26 01:30 PDT
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