”Lose You To Love Me”, melancholic title, isn't it? And right at that. This song came across my music feed two to three years back. Then, I was going through a friendship breakup and I needed to hear some sad songs that would help me cry all the tears and pain I felt in my heart. And Lose You To Love Me was recommended to me. I had always thought this friendship was going to be a till-death-do-us-part kind of thing. I had invested all my time, efforts and energy into it. I had taken this person as my other half, someone who I showed almost every side of me. Whenever it comes to forming friendships with people, I'm always wary. There are usually walls up and I'm always somewhat distanced from them but this person broke down walls and took a huge part of my heart. The friendship was full of happiness, humor and bliss. But it was very far from perfect.
At some point, our interests and passions stopped aligning. We started growing apart and we stopped seeing eye-to-eye. I would not want to lay all the blame at her feet because I know I had my fair share in what caused the end of our friendship. I came to realize that though people sometimes wish the best for us and wants us to be happy, they are somehow still toxic to us. It could be by their habits, their actions, their words or the fact that they don't love us the way we want to be loved. They might think they have our best interests at heart but maybe that's not really it for us. Sometimes, we love these people more than we love ourselves and invest too much into them. It's only when they are happy that we can be happy. And if they are sad, we own their sadness like it was ours from the very start. Sometimes, for us to fully love ourselves and truly be happy, we have to let go of them. Toxic friendships or relationships that clouds our joy and happiness.
Lose You To Love Me is about having to let go of people_having to lose them_to find one’s self. Selena told a part of her personal experience in this story, attributing it to a romantic relationship that she had to cut off due to the other person's actions. She tells us about how she puts him first and how he adores that but how it is not the same on his end. She comes to a decision that she has to let go of and lose this person for her to try finding herself and love herself better. Yes, this song is focused on the romantic relationships, but I can also relate it to other kinds of relationships be it friendships or family relations. Romantic partners are not the only people with whom we have relationships with. We have other ties to other people and sometimes we need to ask if these people truly have our best interests at heart. We need to ask ourselves if we also take priority in their lives just the way they do in ours. We need to ask ourselves if we are truly happy in our relationships with them. We need to ask if they help us love ourselves better or if we tend to beat ourselves up whenever we are with them. We need to truly find ourselves and our true identity outside the relationships we might have created with people.
Ultimately, I don't agree with having to hate someone just to love myself. It's not going to work and the hate is probably going to eat me up from the inside. But of course, I can be indifferent to the other person's actions. I can make conscious efforts not to think about the person and to put them way out of my life where they have no priority. And so, I agree with her when she says that we sometimes need to lose people to love ourselves. This song is sad but uplifting at the same time. I love the chorus, with the use of the choir, piano and some strings. It's definitely one of my favorite songs because it helped lift me out of a dark place that I was once in.
You can listen to it through the link below:
Thanks for reading.✨
Screenshot taken from YouTube Music.
