People know how to talk
Image source: Dall-e
Just look around you there are an awful lot of people talking.
Check out social media and you will find that opinions are as ubiquitous as mouths. It seems that absolutely everyone has one and they want it to be heard. However when I was back in grade school, Grade 7 I believe, I was told an old saying:
People have two ears and one mouth because we should listen twice as much as we speak
I actually believe that the saying holds a lot of truth in that saying. The question is: Are people actually listening these days?
I would say that YES people are doing a lot of listening these days. Unfortunately they are listening to an echo chamber. Don't know what an echo chamber is? Today's social media looks at what people interact with. They see what people like and they serve up more of it. If you like a certain politician, worldview, or ideology then you keep seeing it, keep clicking it, and keep hearing it. The doom scroll keeps showing you what you want to see.
In that way I suppose you do "listen" but perhaps you have two ears because you should listen to both sides of the story.
In today's world it seems that people are polarized. It is either US or THEM. MY view is the only correct one and YOUR view is wrong unless it agrees with me. I could bring up another old saying :
Make sure your brain is in gear before your mouth is engaged
Many people speak what they feel. If they feel bad, upset or angered its time to lash out against the speaker of the words. Many times the mouth is engaged with feeling not intellect. That's a bad place to be.
Walking on eggshells.... or not.
For many people it is a minefield to decide what to say. What if I say something and it is misunderstood. What if I say something and the other person takes offense? What if .... ????
I absolutely understand the problem. When I was young if I said something stupid I would get laughed at by other kids at school. A week later (or less) everyone would have forgotten and that would be the end of it. Today? One person takes a video. The video goes viral. The entire planet could be laughing at my words (or upset with me) and it never fades. Indeed, one slip of the tongue and cancel culture states that you may have any number of bad things happen to you.
Advice from a time long gone.
Hive Learners asked if the fear of insulting people and retribution for it has taken away our free speech. My quick answer is: No. It has not. A chair is still a chair. A duck is still a duck. My dog is still a dog...even if it wants to chew grass and pretend its a cow. Though I will say that advice from the past is particularly important today.
- Don't argue with a fool.
There are a great many fools in the world today. There are opinions that I look at and shake my head going "That isn't going to end well for anyone". If it is dangerous perhaps I will speak out about it. If it is not perhaps an old fashioned burn like "I admire your certainty on such a complex topic"
- If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all
At first glance that seems like a quote meant to keep people silent. I would disagree. There are often different ways of saying something. The fastest and more obvious is a simple dismissal or an insult. "What are you, a moron?" is certainly a quicker way to disagree with someone but it certainly doesn't promote conversation. It promotes an argument. Simply changing the wording to "It seems you have a strongly held opinion on that topic. Can you share the facts on which you base that belief?" promotes a dialog. It acknowledges the person, acknowledges their belief, but it doesn't say you hold the same belief. One way isn't nice the other way is. So I could rephrase the quote: "If you can't say anything nice? Think. Reword. Come up with an eloquent phrase that promotes dialogue".
Polite discourse, dialog, conversation -- a lost artform.
Recently I read an article telling about insults from the past. People were much less likely to call names or resort to crude four letter words. Expletives were less common. Insults were often veiled so that a person had to think before they realized they were insulted.
There is a benefit from that. Truly dimwitted people never hear the insult and it avoids getting into an argument with a dullard.
Think of this quote (sometimes attributed to Mark Twain).
I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great satisfaction"
Now imagine your least favorite politician, criminal, lawyer or whatever. Does it fit?
From Faulkner
He has never burdened a conversation with unnecessary knowledge
From Oscar Wilde
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go
And think of your favorite HIVE author. If you told them "Your readers are never delayed by having to consult a dictionary"... Did you just give them an insult or a compliment?
The current landscape
In today's world many people have been called snowflakes because they are damaged easily. Outrage and strong opinions tend to rule the internet and in many times, everyday life. Offense is easily taken and cancel culture makes that very dangerous.
But free speech? Learning to choose words very carefully is becoming increasingly important. So many people these days are using words like clubs and cudgel when a rapier would be a far more fitting tool.
Just my thoughts on today's Hive Learners posts. As always I love getting comments but comment or not, thank you for reading.