●Do Not Impose – Instill Love Early
Imagine a child raised in a home where, aside from some cultural norms, good conduct is essentially irrelevant. Parents are not serious about good conductsvand whatever practice they do perform is done more out of ethnic customs than good conduct. Now imagine the child reaching puberty. A girl who was never really instilled with good conduct before, is now forced to decentin her dealings. A boy whose life was never centered around good conducts is now made to pray.. Will it surprise anyone if those kids rebel?
Consider, on the other hand, a child who was raised knowing and loving God, was taken to the sacred placej early on, and perform prayers alongside his parents. Would dressing decent and praying need to be imposed? Or would it only be a natural extension for a child whose very nature is good conduct. Instill and reinforce love for God from the day your children are born.
●Kill Your Television and Video Games
Many parents monitor what their children watch, but not how much. No matter how much you monitor, these things are still harmful for a number of reasons. First, watching television is a learned habit that does not disappear in adulthood. A young child could agree to watch Sesame Street. But chances are, a teenager will not. And few could disagree that television programs designed for teenagers and adults contain far from decent appropriate content. Secondly, consider the number of hours that are easily eaten up by TV and video games. Children can literally stay up the entire night playing a video game in order to advance to a higher level. Consider the words of the great man concerning the importance of time:
The feet of a servant will not turn away on the Day of Judgment until he is asked about four things: his lifetime, how he lived it; his youth, how he spent it; his wealth, from where he earned it and on what he spent it, and his knowledge and how he acted on i
Lastly, studies show that irrespective of content, children who spend a lot of time with television and video games are more aggressive, less likely to read, and more likely to develop attention problems, such as attention deficit disorder.
●Spoil Your Kids with Love, Time, and Attention
One unfortunately pervasive myth is that giving children “too much” love, time and affection “spoils” them. This could not be farther from the truth. It is trying to give them other things to replace your love, time and affection, which in fact spoils them. Children who are “spoiled “with love and attention become the most generous, loving and giving of people. Those from whom this love and attention was withheld, often become narrow-hearted and unwilling to give.
●Do Not Reward for Acts of Worship
Do not pay your children to fast, or promise them large gifts if they pray. Instill in them a love for God that will motivate them internally to prat and fast. Social psychologists have shown that when people are given external rewards or motivation to do some activity, they enjoy doing that activity less and are less motivated, than if they are given no external reward but the reward is internally motivated.
●Start Attachment Early
Practice attachment parenting early on. When your children are young, let them sleep next to you, and carry them often. Research shows that doing these things does NOT spoil the child, but creates a secure attachment between the parent and child that allows the child to succeed better as an adult. This attachment is a fundamental precursor to successful parenting.
If a secure attachment is created early on between the parent and child, discipline will easily follow. If the parent maintains this closeness with the child and shows consistent love and approval, the child will avoid doing things that would disappoint or jeopardize that relationship. Discipline should not and would not need to be done with a stick, but would rather flow naturally. If the relationship were based on love and respect, the child would be motivated by the desire to maintain that respect.
●Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem
Make sure your children know how precious they are. Tell them whenever possible how good and how smart they are. Make sure they know what a gift they are and how important they are as a person. Let them know that they can have the ability to change the world, and show them how much faith and hope you have in them. A child who is told he is a failure will always be a failure. And only a child who thinks he can change the world, ever will.
