so many things distract me and pulling me out of my flow. you know what i’m on about that flow you get when everything just works. i just self congratulated myself for filling the back of the car with clothes that can be done at the laundrette ‘anytime’ i’m passing now. no fuss, no drama, they are ready when i am to look in the rear view mirror and go. .
‘oh yeah, i forgot i sorted out my clothes’
you see i’m designing future happiness and moments of course correction, i do that a lot, build up, iteration by iteration until i get to a useable point where i jump in. for instance right now, i’ve got this thermawrap stuff, i just found out that i would need 20+ rolls of this shit to do the loft in a two bedroom house, lucky for me chances are i’ll only need this one roll to do all of my windows, well the majority anyway. it’s a small win that i’ll be thankful for when the winter months come around. toasty, i can imagine it now — hot chocolate, 80’s terribly scripted movies with poor lip sync and wtf moments of pure comedy in between, the best kind of snug.
if you knew me in real life i’m not very humble at all, in fact i guess at times i’m really selfish, stubborn and quite the opposite of humble, people have said over the years that i had a chip on my shoulder and i did, and it was mainly with the idiocy of the human condition, but that’s because i assume everyone should live or know what i know and not keep going over the same mistakes, oh the irony of that statement.
anyway, in the last few years i’m making it a personal goal to reduce drama and maintain a level of humble, open my ears and mind more and say less, really give people a compassionate mirror back to themselves unlike the dark mirror people presented me on, call it extreme self hacking but my mind feels better for it.
gone are the days of manic flying about a city on an electric bike, coffee by the bucket load, quick meetings, new information, new hacks, new prototypes, throwing together new processes and methods to work by, always on the go, adapting to new events, quoting for live streaming work and ‘ontheground’ coverage — i miss some of it, but i hated the chemistry of a lot of it, wrong place, wrong people, incorrect legacy.
and look don’t me wrong, i’ve got an opinion about everything, like everything, i so wanted to write a piece about the gaps between generations and brexit, climate change, men in grey suits, the bastardised technology future of our next generation and how they are gonna be pawns in an on demand ai narrated streamed storyboard but i have to pull up, stop, not let the coffee anxiety of my controlled workspace take over, i have to rebalance, take a few deep breaths, stand up and fold clothes, shake it off like a 11am beyonce break down dance moment.
so what i do now is transform and translate that energy, that powerful and intent with something more useful, less drama, less needy and ill formed, something that people love because of the internet to re-index and reform because they don’t have the localised chemistry of the moment i was feeling it in and instead it comes across as a cry for help and egotistical in nature, it’s hard to communicate without the underlying nuances of the eyes of talking to another human where everything is stripped away and shown like a roadmap to your soul. it’s always in the eyes. always.
no my friends, i’ve found another way and while maybe the humble is just an alteration in my level of passion adjusted for a more forgiving crowd i do feel that being away of the build up to a drama situation and removing the context before it starts is key to having a more balanced life - sure, we will have things completely out of our control that will cause us drama but approaching it like a drama defusal expert is so much more mentally calming than having less than 10 seconds to decide to cut away the red wire of bullshit that often comes with any decision.
i think it’s important of course to have those bigger conversations about where we are, where we are going too but i feel like those are more purposeful when we are 1-2-1, because it’s all well and good talking about them but someone has to step up to the point and solve a few, at least put in the work to get things going, instead of waiting for other people to sort it out, you can wait a life time for stuff like that to happen.
and you can be damn certain i’m not gonna sit in an old peoples home pissing my pants and talking about the AI war of 2050, i’d rather walk up a mountain into the mist any day! :)
have a wonderful day, human.
