It was end of January 2017 when I adjusted my sleep...
To get more and more time with her...
And I found that the best time for us to talk was early morning...
Well it was early morning for me...
And for her it was getting finished her day...
I was...and still am...
in awe of how little sleeps she gets while she is working for how many hours everyday...
I get closer and closer to her...
my crush for her slowly develop into love...
From chat became voice call and from voice calls until video calls...
On the evening of the 30th of January we were chatting since she woke up...
And at exactily 8:21pm when I first tell her I got a crush on her...
As I'd come to expect by now....
She wrote back right away....
Telling me "..ayy grabe...ahahaha" "Slamat" (it's like "oh really" "thank you")
Since then I'd gotten so much more comfortable....
Being open about my burgeoning feelings for her...
So I told her how long I've been know her...
I'd been thinking how to get closer to her before...
How shy I am to initiate a message to her before...
And I even told her I still keep the very first picture she sent to me...
I told her how pretty she was in picture...
Because I was the one who decide what kind of haircut she is going to do...
She told me "I don't look pretty" but i insist that she is really pretty...
That's the beginning I called her "Ganda" And as the day goes by...
I told her I'd been thinking a lot about her...
My feelings grow stronger...
And I started to feel awkward because were friends...
And maybe she is too...
Told her i can't be just friends...
I'm not gonna be around you...
She told me "Its not your fault that you fall for me..."
That Everything will be alright...
I try to understand...
She really didn't understand why am i like that...
Until I decided to court her...
She wasn't feigning ignorance...
She genuinely didn't understand why I would be interested in her...
Which is still blows my mind...
She had gotten so accustomed to thinking of herself as uninteresting...
That it really did confuse her when I would say those things to her...
So when she asked why I had been thinking a lot about her...
I answered honestly telling her the things about her that had so taken my breath away...
And told her even in calls while she was sleeping, I whispered "I love you."
To her credit she tried to see what I did, although it wasn't easy....
We talked for hours for almost everyday till night until we slept...
Sharing things we loved...
Getting to know one another better...
We were both blown away by how much we had fun with each other...
Missing each other...
Despite being from such different places...
We told each other whereabouts...
We had each gotten comfortable with our loneliness...
Finding an appreciation and even affection for our own company...
I wanted so much to tell her the reasons I had been alone for so long....
Ask what hers were, but it was something I knew would be painful for us so I decided to wait...
As we talked, I began feeling as though I was really there with her...
Listening to the music, there by her side...
Sharing the moment with her...
The distance melted away...
There was nothing but us and the music...
Her warmth, her light, I could feel it as if it were the glowing sun dancing on my skin...
What had once felt like an oncoming storm...
That I was powerless to escape now felt like lightning striking my heart...
Leaving me thunderstruck...
The realization hit me all at once with perfect clarity...
Perfect truth: I loved her... I loved her... I loved her...
A supernova went off inside me...
And I knew my life had forever changed....
But now? Only one problem...
How would I win her heart...?
I love you 
