We Talk Friday
(WTF)
This is a semi-regular series that I will run on Fridays to hold discussions on a current topic from the week gone. The aim is to keep them light and conversational, though some might be heavier - regardless of the content topic itself though, just have some fun engaging and discussing with whoever happens to put in the effort in the comments section below.
From a google result:
A good person is often described as someone with integrity, honesty, kindness, and respectfulness. They are compassionate toward others, stand by their values, and treat people with fairness and dignity. These traits foster trust and strong relationships, making them reliable and respected members of society.
I think that is a good enough definition of a person of general "good character", but I wonder how many people who consider themselves of good character, hold themselves accountable to maintain it. For example, I suspect that there would be people who might comment on my articles who would say they have good character, yet at the same time be using manipulative ways in order to get what they want, whether that be votes, or attention or some other outcome. There are those using alt accounts and pretending to be other people, and those who are finding every way possible to maximise their earnings.
Is that good character?
People justify and excuse their behaviour under the guise of some kind of reason why it is okay for them, but not for others to behave some way. They will do all they can to squeeze a little more out because they need it, but other people are greedy. But while I believe we all have done and likely will do things that might not be the best example of who we want to be, I think someone with good character is able to recognise (and admit at least to themselves) and adjust their behaviour to "live up to" their own standards.
I personally have high standards for myself to the point that I am near-constantly failing. But, I don't think that I should lower my values so that they are easier to meet. I would rather stretch and fail, than stay in my comfort zones and succeed. And, I believe that having standards that are out of reach, means getting a little further than what would have been within reach.
Lie. Cheat. Steal.
Are they traits of a good character? I have done all three of those in my life. You? But I wonder, is there an ethical position to all of them that makes doing them okay? For example, would you steal to feed a hungry child? Would you lie to protect the family of Anne Frank in the attic? Would you cheat to ensure someone else gets a win?
Cheat
/tʃiːt/
verb
- act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage.
- avoid (something undesirable) by luck or skill.
Who thought "cheat" meant about a relationship? I cheat at many games I play with my daughter in both senses of the word described, because I act dishonestly so she can beat me sometimes, and I avoid winning with skill so that she doesn't know she didn't win fairly. I get an advantage as a parent for having a child who can experience winning and losing and deal with both.
Never lie to your child.
Sure about that?
The thing with character in my opinion is that it isn't just bound by the simple definition entered into the start of the article. Rather, it is a complex and overarching sense of a person's behaviours and their intentions. Most would probably assess themselves as a pretty decent human, but I wonder if we were able to follow ourselves around for a few years and look objectively at the way we behave, would we still have the same opinion? If someone else acted exactly the same as me, would I respect them?
No.
At least, not entirely. Because I know now that I can do better than I do, because even though I don't meet my own standards, I also often fail to meet the low-bar, where for whatever reason, I have failed to do the bare minimum I expect from myself. It might be as simple as not putting in the extra energy to go to the gym when I knew I could, or getting into snappy mood when I knew I shouldn't.
I have many character flaws.
But what is too many, before good character turns bad?
Taraz
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