Stop talking about it, start being about it.
I don't know if it is going to be better or not, but after years of talking about it, I stick some firebricks in the fireplace to see if it will retain a bit more heat and also slow down the burn time. Out fireplace is in dire need of a massive overhaul, but we just can't afford it. On top of that, it is no longer legal to embed the fireplace in the wall as ours is, so we would have to have it placed on the wall, which means it blocks off our door into the room, so it is unviable.
That aside, the bricks are in.
So far, it is burning wood much slower, but unsure if it is heating any more. Either way, at least we should be burning less wood. Which also saves me going down to the cellar so often. We have plenty of wood though, as we haven't even started on the pile we split two years ago from the two birch trees we had taken down in the yard.
Regardless of whether it is going to make a difference or not, why did it take so long to buy a few bricks and give it ago? Why talk about it so often with my wife, and even more frequently in my own head, but not actually do it? There was a cost, but it wasn't expensive. A little work, but it wasn't difficult. A little time, but it was only an hour.
Why talk when we can instead be?
I reckon this is a pretty common problem for many of us, and it goes beyond simple procrastination. As the saying goes, it is easier said than done, and we can have a constant commentary in our head about all the things we want to do, should do, could do, would do - so taking about it feels like we are heading toward it, even though we aren't doing anything to get it done.
We need to be it.
Ghandi said along the lines of, "Be the change you want to see in the world" and the key word in there isn't "change", but be. Being is what we do and by being, we are automatically changing. But talking about change doesn't necessarily lead to change. It isn't that discussing the change ecosystem isn't important, but it is only a step toward change, not the change itself. Yet, being is change by default, because it is a movement that interacts with the world and sets off reactions, interactions and chain reactions. Every time we be, leads to a ripple effect that impacts on the being of our environment.
I don't know if that is too philosophical and is just more talk, but I believe that I benefit from having that thought and acknowledging that what I must do is be more. Not just be like the Finnish expression to mean just living life, but being what I intend to achieve in life. If I want to write a book, I have to be a writer. If I want to be fit, I have to be a fitness person. If I want to be financially secure, I have to be the kind of person who is that. Being that things requires doing what those kinds of people do, writing, eating healthy and exercising, earning and investing.
What do you want to be?
It is a question we'd maybe get asked as a child, but I wonder how many of us as adults still consider it. Perhaps it is more salient now to explore with the threat of automation and technology on traditional careers, coupled with the volatility of the political and social landscape. Or perhaps we now have enough experience under our belt to raise there must be a better way to live our lives. It is no good leaving at talk alone though, not is it going to help to keep ignoring it. At some point, we really do have to be the change in our own lives. It doesn't have to be some grand, global approach intended to change the world. Instead, it is an approach that changes our personal universe.
We just need to be the kind of person we want ourselves to experience..
By extension, our actions do impact on our world though, and the people within. We can be a loving partner and parent. We can be a supportive friend or colleague. We can be an active and positive member of the community. No matter what kind of being we were yesterday.
I need to be better.
An easy phrase to say, but not very enlightened, because it is not actionable. Be better at what? How? What things do I need to do?
Who do I need to be?
This is not fake it until you make it, but rather making a fundamental change to be that person now, even though it is going to come with missteps and failures. It is choosing to be the change on our own life, to take responsibility for ourselves, and give up any sense of entitlement or victimhood we might hold onto like carry-on baggage.
Being who we want to be, requires letting go of who we were.
The past is always with us, as it has shaped who we are today, but we needn't constantly look into the rearview mirror, because it takes our eyes off what is in front, and takes our attention away from what we need to do right now.
There are things I want to do and have.
I need to be different than I currently am.
Taraz
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