We come into this world to have experiences, to learn from everything that happens to us, the good and the bad, and amongst these lessons is the importance of happiness and how to find it.
When I was younger, I thought that being happy meant acquiring things and achieving goals. Everyone has their own goals, and I had mine, but it seems that the path my soul chose was not to achieve precisely those goals, but others. The journey itself teaches us a great deal.
Many people believe that happiness is having money, a good social standing, property, lots of things; others think that happiness depends on other people, on having a partner who loves them, having children, in other words, that happiness is something that comes from outside, from the outside in. But at the end of the road, they realise that it isn’t within them and that they aren’t happy.
I remember when I used to teach computer science and many of my female students, especially women, would tell me that their happiness lay in their grandchildren; their lives were reduced to their grandchildren. The first thought that sprang to my mind was this: so without their grandchildren, those women would be dead, sad, empty.
Life has taught me that happiness does not come from outside; we cannot make our happiness, or lack thereof, dependent on another person, because if that person did not exist or never came into our lives, we would be without that all important thing. Not even money brings happiness, although it is true that it brings peace of mind, a great deal of peace of mind, in that it means we do not have to live in a state of total uncertainty. I’ve been through that uncertainty many times and it’s awful, but it doesn’t guarantee happiness.
Put in my own words, and I’m sure I’ll fall short in expressing it, happiness is an internal state within a person, like a sense of inner fulfilment of the soul, and that is something you achieve, work towards and seek, but within yourself, not outside.
The question is how to achieve that fulfilment, and I believe it depends on feeling good about oneself, on loving oneself just as one is. It’s like feeling at ease in solitude. I believe it is precisely in solitude that one discovers that happiness, which can then be shared with the people who come into one’s life. Because, moreover, if one is in that state, one will attract like-minded people, and then one’s enjoyment of life will be complete.
It is in solitude and silence that we get to know and recognise ourselves best, and it is in those moments that we can learn about ourselves, look in the mirror and love ourselves. We cannot give what we are not. And I mean what we are, not what we have. Possessions are something external, not internal. We give what we are, and that lies within.
It is often not easy to achieve or find that sense of fulfilment. I found it in those moments of silence and in times of solitude in my life. But it is not easy, because often our surroundings prevent us from reaching that inner self, and by ‘surroundings’ I do not mean only the people around us, but also life’s circumstances, worries and suffering.
I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s not impossible, and when you conquer yourself and discover that fulfilment of the soul and the heart, you see the world differently. I believe that life isn’t about climbing the ladder, having more and more, or achieving things. All that is external. I believe we come here to discover our inner selves, who we are, and to feel that inner happiness.
Amonet.
All the photographs are mine.
Used translator Deepl.com free version.
