A friend asked about talking to a psychologist today, as they know that I have been seeing one a couple times recently, and I had seen one a few times after the stroke also. They themselves have never seen one and was curious to know if it would be worth it and as I informed them, since our work healthcare covers a few visits, why not? Which is why I made the decision to see one too, but glad I did.
There are many reasons to see a psychologist, but most of them tend to be negative, at least when it is for personal reasons. However, ´there are plenty of positive reasons also, where for example a person wants to improve their performance, like an athlete. But, we needn't be athletes in order to benefit from mental and emotional strengthening and we aren't always the best equipped to improve ourselves effectively, or efficiently. Having someone to talk to who knows what they are doing can help.
The other thing is these days and what is probably more beneficial for my friend, is just having someone to talk to, as especially after the last few years of Covid "protocols", a lot of people have found their social circles smaller and the connections to others weaker. This means that there is less conversation, less chance to discuss things and perhaps even roll into the deep. And sometimes too, it is far easier to talk to a stranger than a friend or partner about some aspects of life, because they can be more objective without skin in the game. A partner or friend though, can start to judge the thought process, even if it is just the processing flow, not the conclusion of the stream.
As I was saying to them today, there are less opportunities for the ear of the bartender or hairdresser now, where there is the objective stranger that doesn't care either way, just listens and goes "hmm. Aha. Right." This might not be valuable in terms of the feedback, but it gives that space to step away from oneself and hack around in the weeds of the mind a bit. I do this a lot through my writing also, but it doesn't mean that I get into all the corners and look under all the rugs and clean, either consciously or unconsciously.
For most of us at least, we have had so little mental training to help us process our minds and reflect on our experiences, that it is no wonder that we are on average, a mess globally. And, while we don't need a psychologist to sort through the majority of our needs, if we don't even have the personal habit of processing the simple things, what chance do we have for the larger, more difficult aspects of our lives that would benefit from facing and dealing with them?
When my friend was asking about it, they were kind of uncertain as to whether they should. I think this is partly because they were worried they might be crossing some social barrier into what is quite personal for me, but mostly, I think it was because it outed themselves, an admission that they were in need of help in some way. This can be one of the hardest hurdles to clear for many people, which is why I am quite open with my own life with friends in order to lower the barrier of entry into the discussion. It is like the person in the room that asks the "stupid questions" that everyone else is too embarrassed to ask, but would like to know the answer to.
Around the turn of the year I wrote a post that I was going to focus more attention on my mental health and that became a catalyst for actually going and getting into contact with people, to see what my options were. I think that regardless of the outcome from the few sessions I will have in total, the active step to improve and include others in the process is a positive one for me, considering that in general, I am independent and take responsibility for my own condition, as well as the consequences.
And, it is this approach that I am trying to change in some areas, because like it or not, we all at times need help from others who have skills and proficiencies that we may not carry. So, in the interest of improving results and perhaps decreasing the time to value, bringing in a professional can help, not only because of their skills, but making that decision increases the chance of actually applying what is learned - like having a gym trainer spotting, or a personal chef cooking decent food - you will do the work and eat the meal.
One of the things that has been "weighing" on my thoughts lately is that from a very young age, I had to be quite independent in ways that most children are not. At least in the area I grew up. And, while there are lots of positives to this, it has also insulated me in many ways from connecting through showing vulnerability. I have always been there to help others, rarely asked for help from others.
Over the last years I have been writing on Hive, I have been learning how to build more transparency into my life and valuing the conversation. There is a lot of value in the discussion around all things that matter to us, but if we aren't willing to open up and talk to each other about what troubles us, how are we going to solve anything larger in this world? So many of the topics that cause social challenges are taboo to discuss, which I figure is part of the problem in the world. We should talk about money, sex, religion and everything that causes us stress and challenge, not to fight about it, but rather disempower the topics in our minds and emotions, so we can process and improve our relationships with the topics themselves, and each other.
Even though we might not feel like it at times, there is always someone to talk to.
Or should be. But, we also need to learn to listen.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
