I forgot my ear buds.
I normally carry a spare wired set in my laptop bag, but apparently I removed them when cleaning it out and forgot to put them in. That means that a couple hours on the train each way, plus the time waiting for the train at the other end, is going to be spent in relative silence. Because rather than listening to music, a podcast or a movie or something, what I did have in my bag is earplugs - actually, two sets of earplugs. Many years ago I bought some Aluminium plugs from FlareAudio and I still use them occasionally when travelling, or when needing a bit of peace and quite. These days, the noise-cancelling earbuds are generally good enough though, so I use these more when I need to sleep in a place there is a bit more noise.
What was interesting to me, was that I realised that I didn't have my earbuds just before I got on the bus, kicking myself because I predicted I would do exactly that last night, forgetting them and only realising too late. I had already got into bed when I had the thought though, so rather than getting out of bed to shift them from my gym bag to my laptop bag, I decided "I'd remember" now that I had remembered. But no, that was not the case.
Kick.
The other interesting thing was that while I am not one of those people who constantly has a headset on because I like to observe the world and when I have it on, I tend to look at a screen more, I still felt a pang of anxiety at having forgotten them. I was looking into the future at the train trip and then the handful of hours after my day has ended for the wait and travel home, wondering "how I will make it through", which is ludicrous.
The kiosk where I grabbed a bottle of water at the train station had a wired set for 15€ and a wireless set for 25€ and I came very close to buying one, but decided not to. It is not that they are so expensive, but they obviously weren't very good quality and what it would mean is that I would have a set for today, and never use them again, as I have better spares at home. I even went through the math of what they would cost me per hour, and then the wastage of having another random piece of equipment sitting unused.
I'm not exactly raw dogging.
I have plenty to do to pass the time, with a laptop and a phone to keep me company, as well as a window that looks out to the Finnish forests. But it is interesting how accustomed I/we have got to carrying all these little comfort facilitators everywhere we go. Most people I can see around me have earbuds in with the younger people with the full-ear headsets, something I find silly, unless in a Teams meeting. Sure, the sound quality might be better, but carrying that sucker around for music would annoy me. They are also on their phones and laptops simultaneously, and no one is talking. But to be fair on the last point, most seem to be travelling alone like myself, but it isn't uncommon.
The other day, Smallsteps and I were sitting and waiting in the city and there was a couple a few meters away from us also waiting. I pointed them out to Smallsteps and how they were both staring at their screens and for about ten minutes we watched them scrolling whatever they were on, before they got up and walked away together hand in hand. It makes me wonder if this is what they are like when out in public, what are they like together at home. I might be wrong, but I suspect that they probably don't talk much there either.
We have become comfortable using all of our tools and tricks to isolate and insulate ourselves from each other so that we don't have to deal with uncertainty. When like me we forget one of the isolating tools, we are therefore more likely to feel anxious, because that layer of insulation is weakened and compromised, forcing us to face the possibility that we are going to have to be uncomfortable. And being uncomfortable is a fate worse than death, apparently.
Yet, I know that despite my own slight anxiety at the prospect of having to face the noise of the world, it is good for me to spend a decent amount of time exposed to some level of discomfort, so that I don't lose touch with the daily realities of life. Too often I meet people these days who are unable to cope under even the slightest "duress" where any level of discomfort, whether it be the noise level, the temperature, or the types of personalities around them, leave them frozen and unable to operate at anywhere near their best.
We have created an environment where we expect perfect conditions for us to do anything, including the things we are getting paid for in the workplace. But that is just not possible, which means that most of the time we have to act in less than favourable circumstances. and if we can't then we are going to spend a lot of time being idle, waiting for things to improve enough that we can be comfortable to move.
Now though, it is time to prepare myself to get off this train and into the brisk morning air for the walk to the customer site. It is in the middle of nowhere, but it isn't worth calling a taxi for, and I have a little while until my first meeting. And the walk will be a nice change of pace, listening to the sounds of nature and passing traffic.
Taraz
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