If we were to write our histories, a lot of what we would include would be our origin story, where we came from, what led us to where we are today and ultimately, what made us who we are. What would you include in yours, the good times were everything ran according to plan or, the challenges faced that brought understanding. Which taught you the most, the pleasure...
or the pain?
The other day my wife and I were talking about our lives and the current difficulties we face in numerous ways, much like everyone else in this world, every couple experiences and I mentioned that one day we will look back at this and know.
Know what?
That we survived it.
That is all that really matters at this point of life, getting through to the next point with enough learning and resources that this point might one day be overcome, that we are developing ourselves and building a foundation for the future. People recommend that we live in the moment and I agree except, the moment has to be lived with the sensitivity that there will be a future too, otherwise it is just hedonistic.
To this point, I have never found a hedonist that has been able to maintain their position over time as eventually the resources required to keep the pleasure run low and they are unable to maintain their 'in the now' behavior, as the stress and pressure build and the fear begins to boil underneath the surface. Living in the now is only possible if one is absolutely accepting of the conditions no matter what they are and for most of us, that is near impossible without a lot of work. If the now can only be when it feels good, that is never going to last.
But, I do think that it is possible to extend what we are willing to accept in the now a long way further than most do, we are able to deal with a great deal more pressure than most do. What we consider stressful these days was not always so, and what we are willing to do is no longer anywhere near what we once were. We are rarely willing to invest ourselves into creating a future where we are in a better position than this moment, even as we suffer today.
It is interesting that so many people are personally suffering in this world yet so few are actively doing what is required to ease that pain. We all want change, a better future but to get there takes action and in my opinion, that is living in the now, doing what it takes to create a future that we want to live in, one where we are in a better position. As far as my experience has delivered, no one is going to do the work for me.
Looking back on these days from the days and years to come, I do not know what I will actually see or feel, I do not know where I will be or even, if I will be at all. Who can say? Going forward is the only thing I have any chance to control and from where my wife and I are today to where we might want to be later, has many small steps between and each is a piece of work that will lead to the next step on the path. Just like any investment, the responsibility of our lives lays squarely on our shoulders and the experience of us living it is ours and ours alone.
There are so few things we actually have control over that influence upon us but, we can learn to control ourselves, learn to work out who we are and what we are willing and able to do. None of us are designed from birth to be passive, inactive, still; we are built to move both physically and mentally and, we are created to search for control of our experience. Many put this down to looking for security which they then limit further to financial stability and a life they can buy but, there is much more to it than that. Isn't there?
Is that the end goal, to have a purchasable life? A life where as long as we have enough money to buy pleasure, we are happy? Is that the meaning, does that lead to fulfillment? Don't get me wrong here, money can be an important tool as it is a currency of trade but, it need not all be used on things, it can also buy skills. The interesting thing these days is that valuable skills are likely on the decrease as for most, learning and pushing to master a tradeable skill is not pleasurable.
How many people living in the now spend their time happily working toward mastery? Well, perhaps those who truly are living in the now do just that as they recognize that putting their all into constructive action provides the purpose and meaning to keep them in that now no matter how hard things get. As long a there is a cause greater than themselves they connect to, the now is possible to maintain, no matter the pain.
We avoid pain but often, it is when we are straining the hardest that we are in that moment, thoughtlessly doing exactly what needs to be done to the best of our potential. Isn't that the goal, to reach our potential, whatever that may mean? How can we reach it if we are continually avoiding the negatives, reducing our push and limiting our exposure to discomfort?
When you look back on your life from today, what comes to mind, what experiences shaped you? Were they hard, were they painful, did they make you cry? You are here now aren't you, a survivor. Is today your worst day ever? No?
Then you have proven yourself capable to survive this one too.
People often believe me to be somewhat crazy in my approach to work while simultaneously complaining about their position in life. I don't complain about my position although I don't necessarily like it and am actively working toward a changed experience. To me, today and the actions I take within it are part of my story, part of my origins and part of the path that will lead me into the future. Perhaps I will never look back upon today again, but there it will be part of my past and a piece of road that led to wherever I will ever end up.
Where we have come from is important, but is it more important than where we are going?
Goodnight.
Taraz
[ a Steem original ]