I was asked the other day that if I was to write a book, what would it be about and I answered, it would be a love story. Not a romance, nor something that would be turned into a romcom - something where the characters are awkward and the circumstances emotionally painful, where slight changes in conditions fundamentally shift outcomes - something real.
Real for me.
As they say, "write what you know" and I think that I have taken this to heart to high degree, as while I do write a lot of topics, there is always a piece of me in every bite - although it would be quite difficult to tease apart which pieces are real and what are representations of a reality stretched across a fictional substrate.
I am lucky in that I have never taken any kind of creative writing class or Googled "how to write well", so my style is mine, influenced by the way that I think, which is in turn influenced by 40+ years of eclectic experience. I think that if I was to take all the positive and negative days of my life and balance them on a scale, there would be more positive than negative. However, if I was to do the same with how I physically feel each day, the balance would tip heavily into the negative.
I think that it is because in general, I have a positive attitude and see that the future is going to be better than the past, although I spend most of my time thinking about the risks and challenges that stand in the way of a better future. Some people see challenge as something that drives them to act, some people as something uncomfortable to be avoided.
I think these days, a lot of us not only have the will to avoid, but also the means to avoid, as there are a thousand and one distractions we can turn our attention toward. I think that this is why so many people are seemingly negative on love to the point that they have excised it from their desires - to instead fill the void with much shallower relationships for longer. I wonder if at some point, the millennials of today who have been avoiding deep relationships, will wake up as 50 year olds wondering why they are lonely, no matter how many notches there are on their bed.
I haven't read much poetry in my life, but as a kid I picked a book called "The Prophet" by Khalil Gibran, off the shelf of my mother's and read it. It is worth the read. One of the passages that stuck with me is from the chapter "On Love",
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to
him,
Though the sword hidden among his
pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in
him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.
It is about being open to possibility, even though there is risk involved that may bring pain. It is about facing difficulties, striving and working, despite the potential outcome being complete and utter failure - death.
I think that this is what people are missing in the world today - the willingness to give up everything for love, to be intimately vulnerable to another, to give of themselves, even though there may be nothing in return except pain. But I question, is pain suffering?
Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
_ Lord Tennyson
I would assume that most people reading this know that phrase, even if they don't know who wrote it, as I didn't. But, how many contemplate and investigate it to the point they understand it? The message is the same as the Gibran passage, follow love even though it may end in pain.
I suspect that despite our best attempts, we are hardwired to love, to put ourselves at the mercy of others and, be in the position to be merciful ourselves, or inflict pain - even if it is unintentional. Even now, the majority of songs created are about love in some way, even if the lyrics have become far more crude over time. We seemingly, all need love. Yet, perhaps we are searching for it in the wrong places, in the arms of strangers in the sheets, both real and digital. We "put ourselves out there" on social platforms searching for feedback, attention and the intimacy of having someone care about what we do and who we are, but how out there are we when we are protected from the sword, as we are unattached, there is nothing to lose?
Love may be pure, but we put romance and desire in its place, we limit the limitless by putting conditions on what love is and how we are willing to accept it, to give it. We want love, but we want the protection from loss, we do not want to be wounded by it and when we are, we become a little more calloused, a little more guarded - rather than accepting that even though our dreams were shattered, it was a loving experience to be savored, before moving on with an open heart to the next.
Perhaps it comes down to our protection of our own ego, where the hurt creates fissures in our personality that separate us, fragment us, rather than the pain becoming a binding agent that brings us together, adds mass to our personality and experience that creates us into something larger than we were, denser, deeper, wiser.
So many are searching for quality of life when what they are needing is quality of experience. And, it is the difficult and uncomfortable that brings the most change, that gives us the challenge that we look back and revere, appreciate, understand as defining moments that shape us into who we are today. Yet, if we aren't open to love, we aren't willing to be vulnerable to the experience of each other - what qualities are we missing out on?
There are many logical arguments as to why love is undesirable - until true love is present in life. It can appear in many forms and present in range of ways, but at the heart, it is all the same.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
