As it was the first day at a new school for Smallsteps, it was a little bit uncertain if she would have anything to eat there at all, since she is on a restricted diet still. However, everything had transferred from the old school smoothly and the canteen had a gluten- and lactose-free meal prepared for her.
When I picked her up she was still a bit hungry though, as she said it wasn't quite enough, but that is just teething problems - and that one of her new friends is also gluten-free, but their paperwork hadn't come through yet - so they shared the meal. A special diet has to come from the doctors for these kinds of things, otherwise they would have to make an individual meal for every student with parents who like weird stuff to feel special.
But it reminded me of someone I went to Primary and High school with who earned the name "Seagull" from friends because he would hover over people with food and take leftovers. He once ate half a meat pie that had just been thrown into a bin by a friend of his. The kid wasn't the nicest of kids to me at primary school, but he also wasn't the worst - but I never teased him (or anyone) because I know what it was to get that kind of thing, and much worse.
In Australia and at least at the schools I was growing up with, lunch was either brought from home, or bought from the canteen. However in Finland, there is a rule that schools have to provide lunch (and some other snack meals in some cases), which means that at least five days a week, a student gets a proper warm meal once a day.
I suspect "Seagull" would have been less peckish, had there been a proper meal at school.
I have no idea what Seagull's home life was like, but he was a sporty kid on the scrawny side. To me, he always looked older than his age, like he had had a hard life and found solace at the bottom of a bottle. Thinking back though, it might have been that his life was hard, and it was a parent or both of them that were having hard lives and Seagull was being neglected.
Seagull was just a hungry, growing kid - doing the best he could.
Given the ubiquity of drinking problems in Finland, it is probably a good thing that the schools provide meals and I suspect that it has likely saved a few kids from both extreme hunger, and the embarrassment of having to satisfy that hunger.
While there was normally some food in our house, by twelve years of age I was already doing some odd jobs for cash in hand in order to get money to buy things that I wanted, including food. My parents were not around much by then and I was fending for myself more than I perhaps should have been. This is a different kind of neglect, as while I learned a lot that strengthened me and built resilience, I also missed a lot of opportunity through not having the support there for it. I couldn't take risks and make choices aligned with my interests, as there were no safety nets, financially or emotionally.
I don't think anyone is truly "self-made" in the sense that many use it, but there are many who have overcome a lot to get to where they are, even if where they are isn't anywhere special. It might even be in an average position in life, but they are up on where they could have been, or perhaps could have been. But, support comes in many forms and I think that many underestimate all the little social mechanisms in play that help them through life. It doesn't take much to make a large difference in outcomes.
Maybe just a decent solid meal a day.
Children shouldn't be forced to live off scraps.
Taraz
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