I was reading how the birth rate gap between foreign-background and native Finns is closing, with "the total fertility rate for women of foreign background was 1.39, while for women of Finnish background the figure was 1.23". However, it also mentioned how the proportion of adults without children is among the highest in Europe. There are many reasons to not have children, but I can't help feeling that the general decision of lifestyle considerations these days, is short-sighted and will likely backfire. Not only for society in general, but for individuals who made the decisions without thinking about the implications later in life - a life that is likely going to be longer than it was in the past.
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A robust body of research has shown that solitary confinement has profound negative psychological, physical, and neurological effects on those who experience it, often lasting well beyond one's time in solitary
Even though it is a choice, I suspect that in time that choice becomes a habit and the longer it continues, the harder the pattern is to break. Not only this, there is a cultural shift to "segregate" ourselves based on opinions about individual topics, which means we will find it increasingly difficult to find people to connect with, in what is also a reducing pool of people. It is a bit like choosing a football team from a group of 100, most of whom have no idea about football, and aren't athletic at all. The quality of the pool matters.
While the maintenance of current lifestyle is often a big point in not having children, I also think that the kind of lifestyle people have or think they want is going to change quite drastically as they age. It isn't just about having children or home ownership or anything like that, but it shifts, and if the earlier life doesn't allocate resources and learn the behaviours for that future need, then it becomes out of reach, an impossibility. And then the life they didn't want to compromise, becomes compromised anyway.
Culture changes quickly, but we evolve very slowly. And like it or not, we have evolved to be social creatures that benefit from social interaction and building communities. Many believe they can overcome their genetic programming and sometimes it is possible, but at least for any length of time, it is not probable. The probability is that regardless of what one believes, there is still going to be physiological programming that has a need that it wants to satisfy, even if the individual doesn't realise it, it becomes a gap in experience, a hole that might not be able to be filled, no matter the alternatives available or the distractions applied.
Alternatives for social interaction at the moment is scrolling through "social" feeds, which is also a distraction from the feelings of boredom and loneliness, amongst other things. Yet, people get the feel they are being social, but they are actually in solitary confinement. What many don't realise is that sitting at the screen might have the sights and sounds of reality, but is actually a process of sensory deprivation.
Here is a list of long-term damage caused by solitary confinement:
(Taken from a search)
A lot of these are on the increase in daily life from people who were not incarcerated and were not held in solitary confinement. From "normal" people just living their lives. Many even state that they are experiencing these symptoms, without ever putting it down to their solitary way of life. Normal is in quotation marks because I don't think it is normal behaviour at all, especially given our social advancements over the last few thousand years. We should be getting better and we were, but in the last few decades, our advancement has not only slowed, it has reversed and we are declining. The more individualistic and disconnected from communities and others we have become, the more we have declined as individuals.
The proverb, "it takes a village to raise a child" is very salient in this case, but not because of the child component, but the village. The reason it takes a village is that a whole range of skills are needed, but also a village is a social construct, one where people work together to help each other and complete tasks that require coordination and cooperation, because they are larger than an individual can complete themselves. The village gives individuals purpose, and part of that purpose is the continuance of themselves into the future, whether that be through having children, or building for children to come. I think without the idea of continuance, then life becomes pretty purposeless, and I believe many people are actually feeling that now.
Many talk about their need to be alone, but I don't think many realise how terrible it would be to be alone all the time. I think currently there is enough distraction, but if it wasn't there, would people still want to be in solitary? Maybe it will always be there though, where the technology will get better and better to the point that we feel that we are living in a rich world of opportunity, when we are in fact confined in our tiny apartment, unmoving. Of course, apartments won't be needed at that point, just pods and a jack point - like in the Matrix.
Forever confined.
As I see it, it is ironic that in the quest for more freedom has resulted in us being more confined, more controlled, more locked-in with less opportunity available. We have plenty of opportunity to distract ourselves through entertainment, but when it comes to meaningful activity and purpose, we are very poor indeed.
Having children might not be the answer, but I believe that we should be creating a world that is increasingly rich in opportunity for children. Instead, we seem to be going in the opposite direction, making lives worse in the quest for individual wealth and experience at the expense of children. We are even advancing the monetization of childhood, targeting them directly to trap them into a life where they will be increasingly solitary and confined, conditioned that it is the norm, whilst still feeling that piece missing, unable to identify just what it is, and having nothing in their experience to point a direction.
Loneliness is at epidemic proportions.
And it is only going to get worse.
But don't worry about it. Watch another TikTok video and take your mind off of it.
Taraz
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