You know, there's this misguided belief I've noticed with many achievement-oriented people, which assumes that optimization in one area of life automatically improves all others.
I think the main reasoning or rather perception is that there's one universal metric of success that applies across all domains of life.
The unspoken assumption here is that life operates like a single-variable equation.
Crank up the output in one area(say, productivity or wealth) and the rest, like health, relationships, or inner peace, will naturally follow.
At this point in time, I don't think there is that metric, at least not from a material sense. I don't think the same optimization function that maximizes financial returns could also maximize relationships and well-being or vice versa.
A trader could fine-tune a strategy to squeeze every penny out of a volatile day, but that same ruthless efficiency applied to, let's say, a marriage, as in treating time with a spouse like a profit-loss statement, would erode trust faster than a market crash.
Meanwhile, well-being usually demands rest, which clashes with the relentless “more” of material optimization.
Somehow, this category error leads brilliant people to apply spreadsheet thinking to sunrise experiences, which is always a losing battle.
This reminds me of a quote I heard a few years back that stuck with me precisely because it confronted this fallacy head-on.
The quote is: "You can have anything, but not everything."(or something like that).
It acknowledges the fundamental truth about constraints and trade-offs that we must choose where to direct our finite resources of time, energy, and attention.
I think it's more than tempting to try having our cake and eat it, so to speak, with regards to life's fundamental trade-offs.
Somewhere at the back of our minds, we want wealth without sacrifice and growth without discomfort. It's part of human nature to dream of a frictionless utopia. Maybe it's because we've been conditioned to see limits as failures.
I think the missing part of modern prosperity is appreciation for process rather than outcome.
Convenience isn't always advancement, in the sense that it often strips away the necessary friction that creates meaning and builds capacity. Capacity, as in having the strength to endure, adapt and find joy in the imperfect.
On the one hand, I'm part of the camp of people who think friction ought to be embrace as a teacher. Also, because it is equated with resistance, I think we overlook how it shapes resilience.
Depending on the context, taking the path of least resistance isn't always a "bad thing". For example, in creative work, letting ideas flow without overthinking can lead to breakthroughs. Sometimes, ease is a vehicle for brilliance, but only after we've built the necessary foundation via struggle.
On the other hand however, observing that friction is inevitable in any meaningful pursuit will require us to lean into it with intention rather than avoiding it altogether.
Which means we also need to develop discernment. The myth of universal optimization basically uncovers a discomfort with limits and trade-offs.
Of course, viewing life as a complex system of interconnected variables with different (sometimes, competing) needs doesn't help on those days when we're seeking and need simple answers.
But a good framework that I employ for myself is learning to make peace with these contradictions. I necessarily don't need to optimize every moment or chase perfection in every domain, even though I may want to excel across many areas of life.
Thanks for reading!! Share your thoughts below on the comments.
