I'm part of the camp of people who tend to think that if you really want something, you can only get it when that wanting translates into a borderline obsession or rather developing a delusional confidence in your ability to achieve it despite the odds.
I think the logic is that against the realistic constraints that will come in pursuit of that wanting, there are very few people willing to pay the real price.
One of the first realistic constraints that will hit you when you want to be financially wealthy starting with nothing is that you'll need to live way below your means for years while everyone around you is spending, for example.
You'll have to really really make sacrifices such as foregoing comfort and skipping instant gratification just to be able to reach escape velocity, i.e. the point where your money starts working harder than you do.
However and from a conventional perspective, obsession or delusion is put into the category of "negatives", like it's something to steer clear from as much as one possibly can.
Why is that the case?
Normal people find it easier to act normal than "obsessed" people trying to act normal.
In this context, normal people are basically those who think like everyone else.
Obsessed people trying to act normal are sometimes compelled by the fear that others will think they're crazy.
Think like you wish, but act like others said Voltaire.
An undercurrent that I've noticed in terms of thinking differently but acting normally is the constant internal tension between what you know you want to do and what society expects.
I don't know, but it seems there's a good sense of comfort that comes from fitting in and not standing out despite however much we value freedom of thought and choice.
As if to underscore the irony, most big achievements require what normal people would call "unhealthy" levels of focus.
Coming back to becoming financially wealthy, if you want to build wealth from nothing, you're probably going to drive an old car while your friends lease new ones, and work on side projects instead of watching trending Netflix shows. To everyone else, you look obsessed, maybe even a little crazy.
For me, the part where it gets tricky is society constantly tells us "balance is key" and "don't be obsessed." as slogans for maintaining the status quo, which creates a weird split in people who actually want significant results.
They try to appear balanced and normal on the outside, hence the internal tension.
On the inside however, they're consumed with their goal.
Have you ever experienced the mental gymnastics that comes with pretending to be someone you're not?
It's more or less the same here too. Because you're fighting two battles: one against the actual obstacles to your goal, and another against the social pressure to be "normal."
The comfort of fitting in is real. It feels safe to blend with the crowd.
The people who break through seem to be the ones who eventually stop caring about appearing balanced, which usually comes with realizing that they'd rather be crazy and achieve their goals than normal and stuck.
From an individual perspective, putting some thoughts into this dilemma makes you realize in some ways that the very traits society warns you against - obsession, single-minded focus, ignoring "balance" - could be exactly what you need if you want to break free from mediocrity.
Embracing this feels lonely. You're essentially choosing to live by different rules than most people around you. Your priorities become invisible to others, more or less.
While they're optimizing for comfort and social approval, you're optimizing for a future outcome that doesn't exist yet.
Are you willing to be misunderstood for years in exchange for the possibility of getting what you really want? Many people, when faced with this choice, choose to be understood.
The comfort of fitting in over the discomfort of standing out.
And maybe that's why sometimes obsession gets labeled as negative. Because it threatens the comfortable consensus that "normal" is good enough.
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