Back in the old days, chasing after a girl required the utmost bravery. Should you have passed the first hurdle of procuring the ladies' number (which itself took more bravery than you thought you had). The second hurdle of actually making the call to ask her out would have been and act of bravery worth writing to Mel Gibson about.
Nowadays, Smartphones have changed the landscape of the dating game. There are many more opportunities to avoid embarrassment as well as test the waters. For instance, text messaging through SMS or Whatsapp, you can have a casual chat to see how interested the other party is before asking them out. And just like that, the daunting phone call becomes a thing of the past.
Somehow, with the advent of these new technologies and apps, why does it seem that people are becoming more detached, lazy and more impersonal?
Lets take a look at some examples of how things used to be, compared to how they are now.
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To Call or Not to Call?The coveted phone call..The typical responseThe way of the smart phoneA casual text message is all that seems to be required nowadays. How boring. How lazy. Me? I still prefer that sacred phone call. There's something about a nervous guy fumbling over his words and taking that extra step to make the call that just can't be substituted by text messaging. I like awkward silences. |
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The time before everyone on the planet shared everything about themselves over the internet (i.e. pre-facebook)Once upon a time, knowing a lot about someone you didn't know would have been considered stalking. And that's why, before the dawn of stalker friendly social networks like Facebook, people had to use real life people skills to land them a date. Admittedly, success rates were probably lower, advances were less flattering but they were at the very least, genuine. Enter facebook, and the age of volunteered withdrawal of privacyFacebook stalking is an accepted and sometimes welcomed practice. It shows the man's commitment to finding out everything he can about you. Girls will take his stalker-ish behaviour as a sign of doing his homework, an act of endearment. Suddenly, it seems he has the right answer to everything.. but at what cost? To many, Facebook is a welcome tool to allow two people to get to know each other through mutual stalking before they decide on engaging in further dialogue or courtship. But what it takes away, is the opportunity to discover these things about each other, through real interaction with each other. Yes, you may score a date because you took a shortcut in finding out she likes sushi instead of steak. But does that make the man who plucked the courage ask you out for steak any less of a man who stalked your profile? In my opinion, no. |
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Pre-Tinder Pick-up artistryThe nightclub or bar used to be a popular place to meet a potential partner. Girls would idle at the bar looking like they're waiting for someone, and guys would make their advance often offering to buy the girl a drink. Girls would often dress suggestively and yet be offended by prying eyes. This is of course unless she likes the guy, in which case, the guy may buy her a drink and she'll pretend you're not staring inappropriately. Meeting people in a public venue seems to be becoming less popular as dating apps are becoming more and more prevalent. That is of course until everyone started using smart phones, and on their smart phones, accessing these "fun" dating apps. No doubt, whilst the taboo of meeting people from online persisted, those very people that perpetuated that taboo were secretly swiping away and probably having more conversations with strangers than ever before. Swipe Left, Swipe RightAt first, the "invention" of dating apps like Tinder, Grindr, Blendr (and the list goes on), would seem like liberation to single people. Now, the pick-up artist of a man can save money on getting tipsy before approaching a girl at the bar, and the girl can now avoid undesirable encounters with a simple swipe to the left. Both parties can now get away with posting flattering pictures of themselves for consideration. The problem is, these apps put so much emphasis on looks that it can often back fire. You really cannot tell whether those pictures of the "hottie" are real or not. Remember, before tinder, there was also photoshop. |
