Look at the bright side!
Namaste,
I'm physically well and hope everyone be good in their own world.
It was a good weekend this time, good weekend for me means I've completed all my household chores and does not have anything to do, so that I could lay on the bed for the rest of the day. As prescribed by me I was on my good weekend day and my mom called and we were having some basic discussions, out of nowhere my mother started discussing some past years and as always I was shunned for the rest of the day, anyways late that evening me and my neighbors were discussing some basic social issues and it clicked me and it was overwhelming for me, I wasn't able to control tears and decided to write about it.
I've previously shared this in alot of post that I come from a small town and I've that touch of high middle class small town person in thoughts. We've a huge joint family and in my close relationship I've closely seen domestic violence in the most admired and senior couple, alcohol abuse in every second male member of family, power abuse in workplace on women by the most ideal person, child rape with my younger siblings, female members of family not getting right to education, love affair going wrong due to caste difference and family trying to shut the female by trying to murder her, forceful child abortion leading to serious health problem, female foeticide and lastly violence by a juvenile and family covering this up.
Throughout all of this going on what was understood for me growing up was that I don't have to utter a word about all of this infront of anyone and also while when all of this was going on I keep on suppressing my anxiety and now I see myself getting alot in of these thoughts my subconscious mind while sitting in a bunch of people. I somewhere believe I need help, but then I know the concept of therapy is western and I've been fine while coping with all of this thru my local method that is what my mother has taught me my whole life I.e., LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE.
I no longer have love for anyone and I never feel empathy, I'm just 23 but there's no childlike feeling left in me. I try and be lively but it's shallow inside my heart.
This is me and the picture attached is my kitchen window where I stand and think.
Thanks for reading.
