My cousin's kids first birthday is in a week's time. She invited me over to her place and together we went to a studio for some picture shoot.
The kind of thing I saw, my mouth cannot speak. That one session at the studio with the kid gave me a rattling paradigm.
I appreciate that I have to write this rather than speak because presently, my mouth hurts, bad.
For over two hours there, we were trying to make this baby stay still and just pose for the camera. I had thought babies, especially female kids loved pictures, but boy was I wrong!
For the bulk of our time, we were doing;
"Ify, look at me. Look here. Look at Uncle!"
Ify, the kid, was just looking at anywhere else but where her attention was needed.
"Ify, don't touch the cake.."
And she goes ahead to print five little fingers on the cake
"Ify!!!, my baby, sweetheart, mummy's girl..."
Inspite of all of the sweet name calling, nothing came out of that.
"Don't touch it with your hands nau...."
Goes ahead to dip her hands in and smears it on her face and outfit.
If we say, ify, stand, she sits. If we say sit, she lays down on the floor. She does the opposite of what she's asked.
At one point, I was singing nursery rhymes like,
"Ify is a good girl, eya-eya o!"
There was no rhyme I did not sing. I even discovered I had the talent of composing music, cause, the rhymes and songs I sang were foreign to everyone, myself inclusive.
But truth, in my mind, the girl, ify, should be held in kirikiri maximum prison.
I'd say, "Ify smileee!" and shine my 32 hoping that this child would be a sweet girl and join me and smile. You can imagine the stress. An old man like myself.
But what i get instead would be premium tears. Next, I'm begging and wiping tears and catarrh. If it were just me and the child at the shoot, I'm certain I'd have been the one crying and she'd be the one consoling me......because!!
Like this, I don't think if I were a photographer, I'd agree to take pictures of kids. Unless I'm being paid biggg.
Because, this work is not for the weak in heart. Arggggh!
Now to the paradigm and free advice. Before I say it, lift hold both your ears and draw them cause this is serious. Good!
To you that is shouting, "weather for two," ...I hope, I just hope, you are raedy. I'm only an uncle to that child but my eyes saw hell. because, these kids are going to make you Google, 'how to make a child reach 25 years in four months'.
Thanks for stopping by.
SOKA🖤