The projection
When one needs to understand something about self, one can reflect it to the person we love or dislike. We project the thing we want to be or not to be, we unconsciously project our emotions on that person. We create the thing to dislike or like the person.
The one that shows the opposite can give you a emotion to deal with, you can either be in peace with whom they are, or dislike what they are.. In all shapes and form, it is something we can learn about ourselves and to work on our inner self to stay in peace with what iz.
We cannot change the other, but what we can do is change oneself to be that beautiful projection.